


Brick By Brick

by bowtiedarling



Category: Glee, klaine - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 19:43:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowtiedarling/pseuds/bowtiedarling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a decade together, Kurt and Blaine are more distant than they've ever been. Between late nights at the office and weekends working, Kurt is never home and Blaine is at his wit's end. As everything comes to a head, Blaine will take one last shot at saving their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Helpful photos to the story. http://bowtiedarling.livejournal.com/2409.html

The honking from the taxis outside carried through the open bedroom window and he winced at the words being flung between the angry drivers. Ten years in the constantly moving city and he still hadn't gotten used to the easy abrasiveness of the people. He quickly shut the window and made his way back to the expansive closet before picking up the tie that was neatly placed on top of the dresser and draped it around his neck. He grabbed his black leather dress shoes and sat on the edge of the bed, carefully pulling on each shoe. He stole a quick glance at the clock perched on the bedside table that read 6:10pm; he sighed and placed his hands over his face, taking a deep breath. He would wait five more minutes. If he wasn't home by then...

Blaine stood up and wandered over to the large paned window and leaned against the frame. He gingerly ran the tip of his finger over the well-worn wood and smiled. It was his favorite feature and what had sold him on renting the house. They had traipsed all around the city for two months trying to find a place they could both agree on and love. They had been on one of their evening strolls in Manhattan, after everyone had gone home to their families and the streets were less crowded, when they noticed a 'For Rent' sign on a brownstone on a quaint street off the beaten path. They immediately dialed the number and met with the landlord not ten minutes later. Of course Kurt knew it was perfect the second they had walked in, but it took Blaine walking into the bedroom and seeing the large, charming window to agree. There had been one in his room at his parents' house when he was growing up; it had been a feature that he had missed terribly. He adored the way the rays of sun would shine through on the warm days and the way the rain trickled down the glass on the wet days. They were hesitant at first, being as that it was a little further away from their jobs and friends, but ultimately knew that they couldn't pass up the opportunity. He was glad that they didn't.

He was jolted from his reminiscing when he heard the front door slam shut, a set of keys jingling as they were tossed into a glass bowl. He retrieved his phone off the dresser and shoved his wallet in his back pocket before running downstairs in relief. "I'm so glad you're home, I was afraid you wouldn't make it."

Kurt Hummel waved a hand behind him before dropping his messenger bag on the kitchen table. "You would not believe the shit that's being pulled at work," he mumbled as he pulled his sketch paper and Prismacolors out. "No wonder the interns are running away screaming; I would too." He brought his folders out and tossed the bag onto the nearest chair before collapsing into the one next to it and glancing up at Blaine. "Why are you dressed up?"

Blaine's shoulders dropped as he forced a smile onto his face. "The gala for the music program is tonight, remember? Hurry and change into your Armani suit. You have about five minutes, and even then we'll have to hurry if we don't want to be late."

Kurt dropped his head back before standing up and moving toward the fridge. "I've got way too much work, Blaine. I'm working two positions right now and they want a rough draft of the entire collection tomorrow and I haven't eaten since breakfast."

Blaine's fists clenched and unclenched as he breathed deeply trying to remain calm. "Kurt, you promised me you would go. This is the fifth time you've forgotten and I need you…" Blaine pleaded and hoped Kurt would understand.

"Yeah, well, some of us are trying to keep our jobs. It's not all singing and dancing and galas out in the real world, Blaine."

The air was quickly sucked out of Blaine's chest and he forced himself to breathe. "Wow. Okay. That was uncalled for." He spun around and swiftly crossed the living room, grabbing his keys at the front door that were tangled with Kurt's in the bowl. "I'm sure I'll think of some shitty excuse for you." He walked into the fresh air and slammed the door closed behind him, leaning against the solid wood. He shut his eyes tightly and hoped that the wetness that had started to build up in the corners wouldn't fall. He wondered, not for the first time, how their once-amazing relationship had reached this far of a breaking point.

He quickly pushed away from the door and ran down the steps two at a time before hurriedly walking down the street toward the subway station. He didn't have time to dwell on that; he had a gala to attend and he prayed that he wouldn't be late.

*~*~*

"Well, well, well, all alone tonight, Blaine?"

He stilled, tensing up, before taking a deep breath and turning around to face the woman in the large ballroom. "Jennifer. I didn't expect to see you here tonight. No other fancy party in New York City to attend instead?"

The tall blonde woman narrowed her eyes before snatching a glass of champagne off a passing waiter's tray. "Oh, please. You really think I want to waste my time at this stupid thing?"

Blaine shut his eyes and downed the full glass resting in his hand. He didn't think this night could get any worse. "I don't know why you're even part of this. You don't care about any of the kids, or the program for that matter."

"Oh, Blaine, it looks good in society to say I had a part in helping talented individuals reach their potential. No matter how small the part. So Kurt isn't here I assume? A late night at the studio with another designer perhaps?"

He watched her run a finger up and down her champagne glass and tried to keep his cool. He knew she was just trying to get a rise out of him but with the previous events of the night it was difficult to keep a straight face. "Of course not. The spring line is due tomorrow so he's at home working on it."

Jennifer rolled her eyes at his comment and swallowed the rest of her drink. "Oh so that's what they're calling it now? What a shame. I had someone to introduce him to."

"Shouldn't you be off convincing some older gentleman to give a few grand Jennifer?" A short, petite brunette woman walked up and placed her hands on her hips, tilting her head to the side with a bright smile on her face. The blonde didn't try to hide her disdain as she scoffed and spun on her heel, walking in the direction of the bar.

Blaine visibly relaxed as he heard the melodic pixie-like voice. "Thanks Izzie." He turned around and rested his forehead on the girls shoulder.

"No problem. Why is it that you always feel compelled to talk to her instead of telling her to fuck off? Kurt would have had her drowning in insults by now. Speaking of the linguistically-gifted, where is he?"

Blaine forced a smile onto his face. "The spring line is due tomorrow so he's at home finishing it and making sure it's perfect. You know Kurt."

The shorter brunette raised an eyebrow before grabbing his hand and leading him along the ballroom wall and over to the far corner. "Blaine how long have we known each other?"

He ignored her question and glanced around the room before feeling a sharp jab in his side. "You're a pain in the ass. Six years."

"Exactly. I know when you're faking a smile."

"I am doing no such thing."

"Blaine…"

Blaine sighed and stared down, wringing his hands in frustration. "We're having problems, Iz. Like, major problems. We barely talk anymore, he's constantly working, he tore my head off tonight at home when I told him I needed him here. He completely forgot about tonight and then said there will be other ones."

Izzie squeezed his hand and leaned against the wall. "I take it this has been happening for awhile now?"

He nodded and rested his back against the wall. "About five months I think. It's been way worse the past month though. I've tried talking to him, I've tried singing him songs, he just rolls his eyes and says not now or he gets defensive and starts accusing me of stupid things. I love him, so much, but I'm at the end of my rope, Iz."

She pulled him into a hug and just held him for a few minutes, trying to relieve some of the stress. "I can't tell you what to do Blaine. Maybe he's going through something, maybe you guys need a break so you can remind yourselves why you two are together and what's important in life. Either way it sucks. You let me know if you need anything okay? I've been there before and it would have been nice to have someone who would've just been there for me."

Blaine nodded and squeezed her back, hoping the tears in his eyes would dissipate. "You're a great friend, Isabella."

"Call me that one more time and just watch what a great friend I am."

He laughed and pulled away before holding his arm out for her. "Well, it seems that everyone is starting to sit down. That means we'll be up soon. Care to have an escort?"

"Why I'd be delighted, Mr. Anderson."

They walked together to the stage at the front of the room, meeting up with the other teachers and directors, preparing for the next part of the evening's gala.

*~*~*

Saturday nights in New York City were one of Blaine's favorite things in life. On weekends in college he'd sang at local bars in between drinks, showing off his talent and boyfriend in one fell swoop as their friends catcalled and hollered from the crowd. He glanced around the busy streets and saw groups of people wandering in and out of clubs and bars, reminding him of what his life was like eight years ago. He loved his job more than anything, but there were some nights he missed those days of being carefree with no responsibility and no agenda.

Most days lately he was too tired to go out unless it was for work, and even those were few and far between. The small theater company he had joined straight out of NYU had flourished in the past two years and kept growing steadily. The company kept expanding with new students and adding more workshops; he had already had to re-create the schedule three times in the past seven months. They were able to put on more productions and had access to better resources now but the increased pace was continuously kicking his ass.

He rounded the corner and wasn't sure if he should be relieved or upset that his brownstone was just up ahead. His favorite part of the day used to be walking in the door and seeing his boyfriend there, waiting for him. Sometimes he would be cooking, other times he would be sketching, or he'd be curled up in the big leather chair with tea and a book. He had given up on walking in to see that scene again months ago. He couldn't pinpoint a definitive moment when things had started to change; it seemed that everything had just blurred together. There was one thing he did know for certain; he missed their old relationship.

As he got closer to home he fumbled around in the side pocket of the dark brown leather messenger bag for his keys. He glanced around at the quiet street and smiled at the couple that was walking past him, too wrapped up in each other to care about their surroundings. His fingers finally slipped through his keyring and he slowly climbed the cement steps up to the front door before sliding the key into the iron lock.

The house was dead silent and dark except for the light filtering in from the street and the light that was casting a dim glow above the entry. Kurt must have already gone to bed and he was glad that he wouldn't have to deal with another unpredictable conversation. He dropped his keys in the bowl on the console table and switched the light off, padding his way up the stairs to their bedroom in darkness. A small light was glowing from their bedroom and as he walked in he noticed the lamp on his nightstand was on its lowest setting, enabling him to see and move around. He sighed quietly at the one thoughtful gesture Kurt had made in the span of two weeks before noticing the man facing away from him toward the wall, sound asleep. He bit his lip and quietly reached for his pajamas in the dresser drawer before heading to the bathroom in silence, as he had done every night for the past month.


	2. Chapter 2

He felt the warmth crawling across his skin from where it seeped through the glass window as he stretched the sleep from his limbs. He snuggled back under the feather duvet and tried to keep his sleepiness intact for just a few minutes. Sundays were the lazy days in their house; sleeping in, pancakes from scratch, and bad reality television. He lived for these days where fun and laziness were mandatory and clothing was minimal.

Blaine slowly rolled over and wasn't surprised to find the right side of the bed empty. Three months ago he would have jumped out of bed and gone searching for Kurt, most likely finding him in the kitchen, sipping coffee as he made his delicious pancakes. Now, however, he simply sighed and burrowed deeper into the mattress, wanting to remain sleepy until the last possible second.

Twenty minutes later Blaine lazily fell out of bed, his feet hitting the cool hardwood floor, and slowly padded out to the kitchen. He immediately started to brew a fresh pot of coffee before reaching for a mug in the cabinet above him. The warm, soothing smell of French vanilla began to waft throughout the room and he took a deep breathe in, letting it relax him. He opened the freezer and sighed loudly as he wished, not for the first time, that fresh homemade pancakes were being served on a plate. Instead he reached for the frozen waffles and popped three into the toaster. He felt like he was back in college while Kurt slaved away at the internship he had landed. That six-month period was rough on their relationship, but they had made it through that; surely they could make it through this.

As he grabbed the syrup out of the pantry, a cream colored piece of stationary caught his eye to his left. He set the bottle down next to his plate and grabbed the note off the countertop.

__

_Blaine-_

_At work. Don't know when I'll be back._

_-Kurt_

Blaine rolled his eyes and crumpled the note in his hands before he threw it in the trash under the sink. Kurt had never written their full names out in their entire relationship on notes; it had always been initials or nicknames. He ran a hand through his thick curls that were still untamed and poured a massive amount of maple syrup onto his plate with the other. He grabbed his waffles and coffee mug and sat down at the small breakfast table, and he smiled as he felt the warmth of the sun through the kitchen window. He loved being able to sit here, have his worries melt away, and leisurely eat as he stared out into the street, watching the residents make their way to their destinations. It reminded him of Ohio but without all the hate and judgment.

He waved at the young boy outside of the window riding past the window on his bicycle, and he watched as three of his friends trailed behind him on their own bikes. He smiled and saw them stop in front of the boy's house, two doors down and across the street, and race inside, most likely for an early lunch. Blaine sighed deeply, and hoped that one day those would be different kids, running up the stairs of their house, into the kitchen where Kurt would be serving pancakes and he would just be trying to stay out of everyone's way, thankful for the life they built. He so wished they would get to that point.

Blaine slowly stood up from the table and glanced one more time out the front window as he walked over to the kitchen counter and placed his mug in the stainless steel sink. He turned around and leaned back against the counter and crossed his feet as he dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling. It was always quiet now- no music floating through the house, no television in the air; he didn't know what to do about it. He immediately reached across the counter and pressed the power button on the radio and was grateful to hear the music flood the air. He looked around the kitchen and saw a gold star that caught his eye. He wandered over to the corner of the room where their calendar was hanging up next to the doorway and noticed something written in red pen on today's date.

_Lunch w/Rachel, 1pm_

Blaine rested his head on the wall in front of him rolling from side to side and let out a loud groan. "Dammit Kurt." He pushed back and slapped the side of the doorway in frustration as he padded back to the bedroom and muttered to himself the whole way. "This is ridiculous. Why am I even going? He's the one that made the damn thing." He sighed and threw the closet doors open and he tried to decide what he was going to wear.

*~*~*

Blaine walked through the wide open doors into the café and searched around the room before he found the short brunette and plastered a grin on his face. She smiled and waved him over, and he rushed to the table in the corner by the front windows. He noticed the café was fairly empty.

"Hi Rachel." He wrapped her in a hug and felt her squeeze back before she pulled away and sat down at the table.

"Blaine Anderson, I am so glad you're here. I have so much to catch you up on. Where's Kurt?"

The smile dropped off of Blaine's face and he chewed his bottom lip as he stared out at the street outside the cafe. "He's at work. Sorry, Rach."

"Again?"

He nodded and stared at his lap. "Always."

Rachel sighed and placed her hand on his arm. "It seems that you have a lot to tell me as well. You better be ready to talk." The waiter came over and quickly took their usual orders before leaving them alone to talk. "So, would you like me to start and give you some time?"

Blaine nodded and Rachel began to speak about the musical she was in rehearsals for. He was thankful for her constant chattiness at that moment for once in his life; it helped him relax and gather his thoughts. Rachel was Kurt's best friend and as much of a friend as she was to him, he had to be very careful about what he said to her. There were times when he didn't know what would come back around to bite him in the ass. He smiled at her and nodded at her stories and was thankful to have a friend like her.

"I mean of course I can hit the ranges that most of those women can't, but I guess I'll have to prove myself yet again. My co-stars are quite delightful though. It's one of the first shows that I actually enjoy being around them."

"That's great Rachel, really. I'm so happy that you finally found a good cast to work with." Blaine glanced up and thanked the waiter as he placed the food on the table in front of them. Blaine immediately took a bite of his salad before Rachel began speaking again.

"I also met a guy."

Blaine perked up at that statement and grinned across the table. "Really? Ooh do tell."

Rachel smiled and picked at the salad on her plate for a minute. "His name is Matt, he's actually a producer for an off-Broadway production. One of my co-stars introduced us and I really like him. He's ambitious, he loves Broadway, he loves going out around Manhattan, and he's worked his tail off to get where he is. He took me out to dinner the other night and afterwards we spent three hours walking around Central park talking."

Blaine placed his elbow on the table and propped his head up in his hand. "He sounds great. How many dates have you been on?"

"Three," she replied as she took a sip of her water. "All I want is to spend all my free time with him. I haven't felt this way in a while."

He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it gently. "I'm so happy for you Rachel. Do I get to meet him at some point?"

She shrugged smiling before taking a bite of her meal. "We'll see. I kind of want to keep him to myself for right now." She swallowed and rested her hand on top of his. "So Mister Anderson. Are you ready to talk?"

Blaine shrugged and the joy drained from his face. "Not really but does it matter?"

Rachel sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. "Blaine you don't have to tell me anything, you just looked like you could use a friend to talk to about something. If you aren't comfortable don't worry about it."

"No I need to talk, I really do. I've been keeping things bottled up and I obviously can't talk to Kurt about anything anymore."

"Uh-oh. I don't like the sound of that."

He rubbed his hands over his face and let them drop to the table before he rested his head in the palm of his hand with his elbow propped on the table. "Kurt isn't here because he's working. He's been working twenty-four seven, seven days a week, for over a month now, almost two."

Rachel tilted her head in confusion. "I thought they finished the collection and hired him an assistant?"

He shrugged and took a sip of water. "I did too. Turns out they decided not to. I still don't know why he's working so hard though. Whenever I ask a question about anything, whether it's work or groceries or his family, all I get is a snippy response. "Leave it alone, Blaine. I don't have time, Blaine." I mean, I don't, it's bad Rachel. I don't know what to do anymore."

Rachel frowned and dropped her fork then reached for his other hand that rested on the table. "I'm so sorry Blaine. I wish there was something that I could do for you. Actually, now that you mention it, I haven't talked to him in a week; that's rare. I've only talked to him a handful of times over the past two months. I wonder what's going on. Are you sure he hasn't said anything that might hint at what's wrong?"

Blaine shook his head and took a sip of his iced tea. "No, all he says when I ask him, and he doesn't snap at me, is that he's in charge of projects and he has to be there. He never says he wishes he was home, or that he wished he didn't have to go in that day, just that he has to go to work." Blaine rubbed the palms of his hands over his eyes and shrugged. "I don't know how much longer I can deal with being alone and living with a stranger. I try and talk to him, I try to ask what's happening at work, I try so hard to talk to him even about stupid small stuff like we used to; he just doesn't care. I don't know what to do anymore."

Rachel squeezed his hand and rubbed her thumb over the back of it. "I am so sorry Blaine. It's not fair that he's doing that, to either of you. I wish I could do something. You'll let me know if I can right? I know it's your relationship, but if I can help in any way…"

Blaine smiled weakly and nodded at her. "Thanks. It's just something I have to decide, whether it's worth it or not. The Kurt I used to know was worth every single second I spent. This Kurt? I'm not so sure."

"I'm going to call him tonight or tomorrow, if he'll even answer, I just can't get ahold of him anymore. I'm curious as to why he's acting that way. Hmmmm. It's not like him is it? I'll see if I can talk to him, maybe I can get something out of him, since I'm away from the situation. Maybe you two need a break. Just to recharge the batteries and remember why you are so great together. Just an idea?"

He nodded and filed that in the back of his head. It might not be such a bad idea. He loved Kurt, he would do anything for him, but if it would help them to step back from each other and put everything in perspective for them both then he would gladly do it. "Maybe. I don't know what to do yet."

She nodded and took a gulp of her water before placing her hands back on the table. "I'm always here to talk. Now, tell me what's happening with that theater of yours!"

*~*~*

Blaine shut the front door and dropped his keys in the bowl before shrugging his jacket off and hanging it up in the small hall closet. As he shut the door he heard something drop on the floor down the hall and a loud, long string of curse words filter through the air. "Kurt?"

"What?"

The faint but snappy sound of his boyfriend rang through the apartment and he tried to remember to breathe before responding. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Kurt came barreling out from the spare bedroom where his home office was carrying a bag full of art markers. "This fucking bag fell off the shelf and fucking tipped over onto the floor and these went everywhere. God I don't have time for this right now."

"How long have you been here?"

Kurt huffed as he threw pads of paper and file folders into his messenger bag. "Like five minutes, I have to get back to the office."

Blaine pursed his lips together and shut his eyes, taking a deep breath, before running a hand over his gelled hair. "Kurt it's Sunday afternoon."

"Yeah well my office didn't get the memo."

He watched as the taller man flew about the apartment in a flurry gathering supplies and papers to shove in his bag. "Coffee, Kurt."

"I know I have that sketch somewhere here. What about coffee Blaine?"

"You missed coffee with Rachel today. At noon. Our tradition, remember?"

"I don't have time for stupid traditions right now. Besides she'll get over it, it's not like she hasn't cancelled before."

"Alright that's it," Blaine sighed before leaning against the dining room table, arms crossed over his chest. "I've had it Kurt. I'm at the end. You don't care that you missed our weekly date with Rachel, you don't even feel bad about it in the slightest, because apparently you are too busy for the people who care most about you in your life."

"Blaine, I don't have time for this."

"Well then make time dammit!" Blaine saw Kurt's body go still and he was thankful he finally had the man's attention, though he knew that all the feelings he had been harboring for the past few months were about to surface. "God, Kurt, you don't even seem to care anymore, about anything! I'm sick of coming home to an empty house, all the time, I'm sick of you canceling on everyone and me having to come up with some bullshit excuse for you."

"I never asked you-"

"Exactly! You never asked anything, you never wonder how my day went, you never ask about anything except your designs and work. Your own father keeps calling me because he can't get ahold of you! I don't even know you anymore Kurt."

"Oh don't pull that with me Blaine. You know I'm working my ass off right now at my job, doing three different positions at once. I told you I would be busy. This is not my fault. Maybe if you actually _tried_ to understand and _tried_ to be accommodating with me here."

"I AM trying Kurt! I am trying so, so fucking hard and no matter what I do you don't seem to give a shit! What do I have to do to get you to understand what's happening to us here?"

Blaine's chest heaved with lack of air from his anger and he tried to slow his breathing as he waited for Kurt to answer. He watched as Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his palms against his eyes. The horns from the taxis and city noises outside floated up through the windows and permeated the tension-filled silence. Blaine dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling unsure of what was going through Kurt's mind.

Kurt exhaled loudly before he rolled his eyes and shut his messenger bag as he turned to Blaine and swung his bag up onto his shoulder. "You know what? I don't have time to do this now. I have to get back to the office; I have people waiting for me. Maybe you should try to understand how hard I'm working and be a little sympathetic toward that."

"Kurt come back here-"

"Leave me alone Blaine!"

Blaine heard the front door slam shut, shaking the photos that were hanging on the wall, and he let out a long sigh before he walked to the large reading chair in the corner and flopped down into it. He tried to breathe in, and then breathe out, and steady himself as tears slowly trailed down his cheeks. How had they come to this? They had never fought like this before- not in high school when that boy tried to come between them, and not in college when that guy had pursued Blaine to point of insanity. He held his head in his hands, wiping the tears off his face with the sleeve of his shirt, and then tilted his head back toward the ceiling. Rachel's words from earlier began ringing in his head.

_Maybe you should take a break._

Maybe they should. Kurt had always been a grand gesture kind of guy when it came to their relationship behind closed doors. Well, this was definitely a grand gesture.

He stood up and walked toward their bedroom, stopping at the hall closet to grab a large suitcase before continuing to their room. He pulled his cell phone charger out of the wall and grabbed his grandfather's pocket watch out of the nightstand before he hauled the suitcase onto the bed and walked to the closet.

Blaine began with the drawers, grabbing his three favorite pairs of jeans, then reached for his favorite sweatshirt, Kurt's old, worn-in school hoodie, then threw them onto the bed by the case. He grabbed the essentials from the drawers and a few polos before he began with the rack on his side. He reached for his black suit, perfectly tailored by Kurt, and carefully walked it out to the suitcase and placed it inside. He grabbed a few of his cardigans, a jacket, a few bowties, though not nearly as many as he would have a few years ago, and three pairs of shoes and gently folded them up into the suitcase before folding his suit lightly on top. He zipped it up and placed it onto the ground then went to the bathroom and grabbed his toiletries bag out of the drawer, packing his essentials and some of his comfort items.

He paused as he glanced at the picture that was resting in the frame on top of Kurt's vanity. It had been taken the night after Kurt had graduated from the advanced program in fashion design, at a bar where they had celebrated until three in the morning with their closest friends. His arms were wrapped around Kurt and they were both grinning widely, so grateful to have made it through college so that they could start the rest of their lives together. Blaine lightly traced over Kurt's face and sighed before he turned around and shut the light off, walking toward the suitcase resting on the floor. He hoisted it up and rolled it out to the living room, shutting the lights off as he went, and placed it against the entry wall before he walked back to the desk in the living area and reached for a piece of his stationary and an envelope.

Blaine wrote his boyfriend's name on the outside of it and pushed it to the side as he grabbed the sheet of paper and a pen and began to write.

_Kurt-_

_I can't do this anymore. I can't keep living as strangers passing each other by in the same house day after day, and more importantly, I shouldn't have to. I can't keep reaching out for someone who doesn't care about reaching back. Day after day I've tried to talk to you, to ask you about your day, to try and help you with anything I can, and I never get anything in reply except for a snappy response. I don't know what to do anymore._

_I've packed enough for myself for a few weeks. Hopefully by then we'll know where we stand with each other and we can make a decision about the future._

_I'm sorry, but I can't keep living like this._

_Love,_

_Blaine_


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine threw a fifty at the cab driver before he shut the door and walked back to his luggage at the curb. He hoisted his messenger bag over his shoulder and grabbed the handle of the suitcase before he walked across the sidewalk and entered the large hotel. He hadn't been here in years, not since the apartment debacle of 2016 where he and Kurt had found themselves in short-term housing after a miscommunication with their landlord. It made him wish that they still had those small, menial problems and not the one they were currently going through.

Blaine walked up to the counter and checked-in; he'd already called an hour before to book a room for three weeks. He picked up the plastic key card that the hotel attendant slid across the granite counter and dragged his suitcase behind him through the lobby toward the back of the building to the elevator. The arrow chimed and he stepped toward the door. An older couple slowly walked out and he moved to the side to allow them space as he maneuvered his bags behind him. He pressed the button for the twenty-first floor and then slumped against the elevator wall and rested his hands along the rail. He was so tired and couldn't wait to crawl into a comforting, soft space without being disturbed at all hours of the night. Every fiber of his being felt like it was running on small sparks that ignited small bits of energy before they burned out. Everything he used to love now seemed like a grueling chore that he couldn't get away from.

The doors opened and he stepped onto the floor, turned right, and started to scan the door numbers for 308. He quickly found the room and he slid his key card into the door and blinked in relief as the green light lit up. He pushed the heavy door open and dragged his luggage in behind him and shut the door before he stepped into the room to take in his surroundings.

Blaine had forgotten just how small hotel rooms were in New York City, but he was pleasantly surprised by this one. Straight into the room and slightly to the left was the large king size bed; a rich, dark wooden frame holding fluffy white linens and lime green overstuffed pillows placed in front of the headboard. On one side was a decent sized nightstand holding a lamp and a phone. On the other side of the bed was a large bay window overlooking a gorgeous maple tree and the sight warmed his heart; it reminded him of where he grew up.

He glanced to his left and saw a large desk and chair and he placed his messenger bag on top of it. The soft, worn leather bag collapsed in on itself and shrunk down to the table. The bag must have been close to twelve-years old now, but he couldn't bear to get rid of it. He saw a large flat screen television mounted on the wall just past the desk and an entrance past that to what he assumed was the closet and bathroom. He lugged his two larger bags over to the bed and hurled them up onto one side of the bed before crawling over to the other bed and falling face down into the fabric. He took a breath and rolled over; he stared up at the ceiling and willed himself to stand. He had too much to do tomorrow to just lay there and mope, and he began to make a list as he stood up to get ready for bed. He had materials for his class to pick up at the printer and lunch with Mike to move-

"Oh damn it." Blaine groaned and fished through his jacket pockets before finally returning with his phone. He fired off a quick text to Mike before he headed to the bathroom.

_Can we move lunch to the cafe by the theater tomorrow? Busy day and the diner is too far from where I'm staying. -Blaine_

**Sure no problem. Where are you? -Mike**

_Hotel Alexander. Alone. Explain tomorrow. -Blaine_

**WHAT? Okay. Call if you need anything. -Mike**

Blaine walked out twenty minutes later freshly showered and ready for bed. He glanced at Mike's last message before he threw his phone in the charger and set the alarm clock on the nightstand. He clicked off the bedside lamp and crawled in under the covers too tired for any emotion but exhaustion. He turned toward the opposite side of the bed and reached his hand out but stopped short; he forgot it was empty. He pulled his hand back and flopped onto his back while he ran a hand over his face. He hadn't slept alone in years and he hated it; it felt wrong for Kurt not to be beside him. As sleep crept over him, he hoped they would be able to fix this; he didn't like being alone.

The dark grey sky loomed overhead as Blaine walked down the steps of the hotel and turned onto the busy sidewalk. He spotted a coffee shop on the far corner across the way and hurriedly crossed the street. He hadn't slept well the night before and anything with copious amounts of caffeine was needed immediately. He pulled the door open and was immediately engulfed in the delicious aroma of coffee that permeated the air. He took a deep breath and smiled and moved forward to stand in line. Coffee was one item that he would always splurge on and appreciate the art of. A good cup of coffee could make or break a day; he needed all the amazing coffee he could find.

Blaine quickly ordered a latté, not in his usual order, but he decided he wanted to try something new, something different, to go along with his life. He slid his cash across the counter and told the cashier to keep the change and walked to the end of the bar to wait for the drink. He glanced outside through the large, open window at the front of the store and scowled. It was starting to rain, rather large drops, and of course he had no umbrella. He sighed and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling; it appeared that even Mother Nature was mocking his attitude today. He glanced down at the jacket he was wearing and was thankful when he remembered that it had a hood attached. Thank God something was on his side today.

"Large latté with extra foam for Blaine!"

He heard the barista call his name and snatched the cup up as he said thank you. He threw the hood on his jacket over his head and stepped out into the rain, which was thankfully not yet that bad. He walked across the intersection with the other pedestrians and blended into the group as they all scurried down the steps out of the rain and into the subway station. Blaine stopped at one of the line maps posted on the wall and quickly figured out which lines he would need to get to the workshop building from the unfamiliar surroundings. He walked over to the platform and waited among the commuters and businessmen and women of New York City. He felt a faint buzz in his pocket and knowing it was his phone decided to wait until he was on the train to check it.

Blaine soon found his train approaching and as the doors opened he rushed in with the other passengers and found a small spot to stand in at the back corner of the car. He gulped a long sip of his latté before the train moved, not wanting to wear the hot drink on his clothing, and felt around his jacket pocket for the phone. He pulled it out and unlocked the screen before seeing a text message and voicemail from Kurt. He took a deep breath and steeled himself before opening it.

_Where are you? Got your note, don't understand it. I'll be home around 7pm. Talk then. -K_

Blaine groaned quietly and shook his head as he closed his eyes. He had thought that his note had been pretty clear in regards to his feelings. What was there to not understand? He shoved the phone back into his pocket and decided the voicemail could wait until he felt like not punching a wall. He should have known this was the response he would get; Kurt had been oblivious to everything in the world for the past few months except for when it came to whatever new collection he was working on. Why would this have been any different? Blaine leaned back against the small wall behind him and tried to calm down as the train took him closer to his destination. He was glad he had lunch with Mike today. He needed his best friend to guide him in some sort of direction. Because he was lost.

Blaine took a sip of his hot coffee and waved Mike over to the table when he saw the tall silhouette walk through the door. Thankfully, his morning had gone well enough, without any other interruptions. He had listened to the voicemail message that was left and promptly deleted it when the annoyance in Kurt's voice got to be too much for him. He threw himself into work that morning - scheduling classes and preparing materials, and was grateful that the time moved quickly for him.

He smiled at Mike as the tall Asian took the seat across from him at the small two-person table by the back of the cafe. "Hey, how was your morning?"

Mike shrugged his shoulders and took a sip from the glass of water in front of him. "It was good, no weird stuff this morning. I had a new student show up who blew everyone out of the water. She has an attitude problem though."

"Ah yes, Kelsie." Mike tilted his head to the side in confusion and Blaine chuckled. "Santana mentioned something about her and 'going all Lima Heights on her ass.'"

"Yeah, well, sadly I might actually need her to do just that." Blaine and Mike smiled at the waiter that approached them and took their order before Mike sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. "So, care to tell me why I'm sitting here at a cafe getting a salad instead of my usual once a week cheeseburger?"

Blaine bit his lip and started to play with the rings of water from the glasses on the table, swirling his fingers through them. "I kind of moved out. I packed two bags, left Kurt a note, and checked into a weekly-stay hotel."

Mike's features softened as he leaned forward to rest his crossed arms on the tabletop. "I'm sorry, Blaine. Why didn't you call? You know you can crash with me and Tina."

Blaine shrugged. "You two have your own life you don't need me disturbing it. As to what happened, a lot of things have just mixed into one big problem and I'm not sure why. Kurt has been working insane hours for two, almost three months now. We rarely talk about much now, no matter how hard I try. He just complains about his job and snaps at almost anything I say. I tried talking to him about it but he would just get defensive and mean and walk out. I just didn't know what to do anymore."

Mike listened attentively and Blaine was grateful that he had a best friend that knew when to pry and when to let things go. "I'm sorry. That doesn't sound like Kurt at all. So that's what you meant about staying at a hotel?"

Blaine nodded and took a sip of his coffee and wrapped both hands around the warm mug. "I didn't know what else to do but I couldn't take anymore of it. He just won't listen and I thought maybe some grand gesture would help snap him out of it."

"No such luck?"

Blaine scoffed and rolled his eyes. "He texted me and left me a voicemail asking where I was, that he knew I didn't come home last night. He said that he got the note, he didn't understand it, and would see me tonight to 'discuss' it. Honestly, I just..." Blaine trailed off as his thoughts and words failed him.

"I'm so sorry. I wonder why he's acting that way? He's never been like that before."

Blaine nodded and thanked the waiter as he placed the food in front of the two men. "I know, and I tried talking to him on a number of occasions but he just won't say anything. I just don't know what to think anymore. I love him, more than anything, but I shouldn't feel like this all the time and I shouldn't dread going home at night." Blaine felt his eyes watering and quickly tried to suppress the feeling. "I'm sorry for being so down and pitiful today. I don't want to monopolize the whole lunch."

Mike shrugged and shoveled a forkful of salad into his mouth. "it's okay you need to talk. You call us if you need anything, you hear me? I'm not kidding."

Blaine nodded and took a bite of his own food. "So, what's been going on since last week? I know we work at the same place but I feel like I never see you."

Blaine tried to listen intently to Mike's tales of his dance students and Tina's new show but his mind kept drifting toward Kurt and whether or not he would fight for them or let their ten-year relationship dissolve into memories.

Blaine threw the door open to his room at eight o'clock that night, having stayed late to help a few students on their music project. He felt dead on his feet from running around the studio and all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. He made a mental note to not schedule classes next session on opposite ends of the building with minimal break time in between. Now knew why Mike complained so much about classrooms and scheduling. He dragged himself to the small table by the window with Chinese takeout in tow and flopped down into the chair. He opened the large container and brought a piece of orange chicken to his mouth just as a loud knock rang throughout the room. He placed the food down on the table and quickly hurried to the door not wanting to disturb anyone on his floor. He glanced through the peephole and his posture stiffened reflexively, taking a breath for composure as he swung the door open. "Uh, hi."

Kurt stood on the other side of the doorway, small messenger bag in tow behind him and an unreadable expression on his face. "Hello. May I come in?"

Blaine paused for a second then slowly nodded and moved aside as Kurt walked into the space and took in the surroundings. Blaine watched as he wandered around the small area and finally decided on the chair at the table across from where he had been eating his late dinner. "What are you doing here? How did you know where I was staying?"

Kurt rolled his eyes at the question and stole a piece of chicken from the container. "Mike told me. I called him asking where you were; I may have forced it out of him."

Blaine nodded and bit his lip. He wasn't mad at Mike for telling him; he just wished he'd had some warning. He'd had a mental list of everything he wanted to say and wished he'd written it down. His mind was suddenly blank as Kurt stood in front of him with his arms crossed and every previous thought flew out of his head. "It's fine. What are you doing here though?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Blaine as if the answer was obvious. "Well, I'm here to take you home of course. This is getting a bit ridiculous."

Blaine shut his eyes and took a few deep breaths as he silently reminded himself to stay calm. "Kurt, did you not read the note I sent? I can't just come home."

"Of course you can." Kurt shifted his weight in the chair and crossed his legs. "This whole thing is ridiculous. I'm busy at work; it isn't the end of the world. Come home and we'll work on whatever it is you feel needs to change."

Blaine gaped at Kurt as the words left his mouth. "I'm sorry, have we been living in the same house? It sounds like you've been living somewhere else, because where I've been there have been harsh, rude comments, scathing replies to questions, and just all-around unpleasant attitudes."

Kurt rolled his eyes and stood up from the table. "God, Blaine, stop being so dramatic. We hit a rough patch, so does everyone else in the world. Stop being so ridiculous and let's go home."

"It's not a rough patch, Kurt, it's a rough acreage. I'm not coming home until I figure out what I want from us. Maybe you should do the same."

Kurt huffed and gathered his jacket and bag before walking toward the door. "Fine, Blaine, have it your way."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm going home. Call me when you want to come back."

The door to the room slammed shut and Blaine winced at the noise that echoed throughout the room. He sighed and walked over to the head of the bed and sat down and dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling before squeezing his eyes shut. He had no idea where the Kurt was that he had fallen in love with so many years ago. Something had changed in the past few months and the other man didn't seem to want to acknowledge it. Now he had to figure out where to go from there.

He eyed the pillow next to him and quickly grabbed it, flinging it across the room at the empty wall. He remembered the woman at the front desk saying something about the second floor and a gym with a heavyweight bag, a rarity in today's buildings. He hurried to the small dresser and pulled out an old Dalton t-shirt and sweats and quickly through them on. He needed to get some of his anger out and the gym seemed like the best place to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

Blaine ran the blade across his face one last time before he inspected his work in the mirror and was finally pleased with the result. He put his shaving kit away and walked to the small closet. He yanked his favorite mustard yellow pants out along with a black v-neck short sleeve shirt and a gray cardigan. His favorite pants weren't the original pair from high school; Blaine had worn a hole into those years ago in college. Kurt had seen how upset he had been and made an exact copy for him and then had made two extra pairs just in case. He was currently on the second pair Kurt had made, with the last pair wrapped in tissue inside of a box at the top of their closet. He paused and fingered the twill material gently in his hands. His heart ached to have _that_ Kurt back in his life.

He quickly dressed and ran some product through his dark curls; Kurt convinced him to get rid of the gel back in college for far more favorable products. He sprayed his cologne on and glanced one last time in the mirror before he switched off the light in the bathroom. He padded out to the desk and fired up his laptop, waiting for a minute or two as it warmed up. A loud knock rang through the room and he froze; only two people knew where he was and he debated not answering it.

"Come on, Squirt, I know you're in there. Open up."

Blaine relaxed immediately, but his mind reeled with questions. He ran hurriedly over to the door and smoothed his shirt down before he opened the door. "Hi, Coop."

"Hi, Blainey."

Blaine let Cooper into the tiny space, and he could tell by the Hollywood smile plastered on his face that he was holding something back. "What are you doing here? I thought you were filming in Chicago."

"Funny story about that actually," Cooper started, and he placed his overnight and messenger bags on the bed. "I was heading back to the apartment a week ago after filming and decided I would call my little brother. You know, catch up on life, find out how everything was going. His phone was off, or dead, because it went straight to voicemail. So I called his landline, knowing someone always picked up if they were home. You can imagine my surprise when my brother's boyfriend picked up and stated in an exasperated tone that he had moved into a hotel and had left a note that he was leaving."

"Well, it wasn't quite that dramatic," Blaine mumbled in protest as he walked to the other side of the bed and sunk down into the mattress. He swung his feet up on the bed and stretched his legs out in front of him.

Cooper exhaled and Blaine watched as his brother crawled onto the bed next to him and he prepared himself for one of their famous talks. "What's going on, Blainers?"

"Don't call me that."

"Hey, come on." Cooper nudged Blaine's shoulder until he was forced to look at him. "It's me, Blaine. Just me."

Blaine stared down at his fingers and fiddled with them for a long minute, and watched them wring and twist together as he tried to form the right words. "He's, just, I don't know Coop. He's constantly at work, we never talk, all we do now is fight about stupid inconsequential things. I just didn't know what to do anymore. I love him, God, so much it hurts, but I just couldn't live in a house like that anymore." Blaine paused and shut his eyes in hopes that the tears that were forming would go away. "I've already lived in one house that was full of screaming and fighting every night because of me. I don't want to go through that again. I can't, especially not with him."

Cooper's face fell and he quickly gathered his brother up in a tight hug. "No, Blaine, don't think that. They didn't fight because of you. They had been fighting for years, they just hid it better back then."

Blaine felt the tears start to slide down his cheeks and all too quickly they were trickling at a steady pace. He had tried to stay strong, not only for himself but because he didn't want anyone prying into his life, even his friends; he was private in that respect. But he knew as soon as his brother had walked through the door though that it was only a matter of time before the dam broke. He was safe with Cooper.

Blaine cried as Cooper held him, stroked his hair, and whispered calming words in his ear. It felt like it took forever, but eventually his tears slowly began to subside and he quietly sniffled through the last of them. He gratefully accepted the tissues that Cooper pulled from the nightstand and gently dabbed the wetness on his face. It one of the many little quirks Kurt had instilled in him years ago. "I'm sorry, Coop. I didn't mean to cry like that."

"Hey, don't apologize. Have you cried at all since this happened? Wait, don't answer that, I already know the answer. You can't keep your emotions bottled up like this, Blaine. It's not good for you."

Blaine nodded and rolled his eyes. "I know, I know, I remember the talk we had, believe me. No need to repeat that."

"Good." Cooper released Blaine and sat up for a second to readjust the pillows behind him. He curled up on his side to face his brother and propped his elbow on the pillow and rested his head in his hand. "Okay, so I know you told just a little of what happened to Rachel and Mike, but I know nothing and I need to know everything. So let's start from the beginning."

Blaine chuckled and groaned as he flopped back onto the pillows stacked on the other side. "I don't think we have enough time for _everything,_ Coop."

"Try me."

Blaine bit his lip before he started speaking. Cooper listened for an hour as Blaine as he attempted to put everything about his and Kurt's problems into words - the lonely nights, the growing distance, and the moment he'd had enough with everything. When he was finally finished, Blaine took a deep breath, rolled onto his back, and allowed Cooper to process all the information he had thrown at his brother.

Cooper breathed deeply and ran his fingers through his straight brown locks. "Wow, Squirt, I can't believe it. I'm sorry. You should've called me way earlier."

Blaine scoffed and stared at the ceiling. "Why, what could you have done? It's my problem. Well, mine and Kurt's, there isn't anything you can do."

Cooper turned toward him and poked him in the side. "Blaine, I'm your big brother. No matter how old either of us get, it's my job to protect you and try to do what I can to help. Even if it's just sitting here doing nothing. You better get used to that fact because it's not changing. Ever."

Blaine bit his lip trying to hide his grin. "Thanks, Coop. I know it took a lot to be able to fly out. I never thanked you for that."

"Not necessary, Squirt. And, no, I won't stop calling you that." Blaine groaned and Cooper grinned before turning back to stare at the ceiling. "I'm actually trying to figure out why Kurt would ever act like that. He's snarky, sure, but he's never mean to family or his friends. Are you sure he hasn't said anything to you? Hinted at anything that could have been bothering him or stressing him out?"

Blaine shook his head as he thought about Kurt. "The only thing he's ever referenced is his job, which has always stressed him out on a daily basis. For some reason after three years that stupid company still makes him work himself to the bone regardless of the fact that he's always gone above and beyond."

"Well, maybe there's something going on that he doesn't know about or hasn't told you. Don't give me that look, Blainers, I'm just saying humans are complicated. And your human is especially complicated."

Blaine huffed and kicked his brother's leg. "Don't start with the 'we are not alone' shit. I'm not getting into that with you right now."

"I'm just saying there has to-"

_"Cooper!"_

"Fine. Ignore my brilliant theories. Have you talked to Kurt since you left?"

"Didn't you he tell you when you called?"

Cooper shrugged and folded his hands behind his head. "Not really. He said that he's seen you once but that was it."

"He came over last week and said I was being dramatic. Me. Has he met himself?"

"Well-"

"No don't answer that; your opinion is biased. I just want him to understand where I'm coming from and have a calm, rational discussion." Blaine glanced at the clock on the bedside table and groaned. "Shit, I'm going to be late for work."

"Want me to write you a note?"

"Want me to throw you out the window?"

Cooper gasped and threw a hand on his chest. "Blaine Anderson, is that any way to treat a welcomed guest?"

Blaine rolled his eyes and stood up from the mattress. "Who said my guest was welcome? As I remember it, he showed up at the front door unannounced."

"You know, I think those manners you used to have are leaving you."

Blaine smiled and threw the strap of his bag over his shoulder before sighing at Cooper who was spread out across the large bed. "Are you staying with me?"

"Well, I could get a room if you want, but I have to leave tomorrow morning."

Blaine shook his head and began walking toward the front door. "No, crash here. I have classes until six so I'll probably be back a little before seven."

"You know, I can come help you teach as a guest instructor or something. Kind of like what I did at your glee club-"

"Hell no. I am not reliving that. It was hard enough the first time."

"Okay fine. I'm offering you industry secrets and you're turning them down. I'll just go stroll around the city, maybe go down to Broadway. I might be able to convince someone to give me a role on the Great White Way."

"Well, whatever you do make sure it's legal please. I don't have the extra money to bail you out of jail. " He waved behind him as he opened the front door while his brother babbled behind him. "Bye, Cooper!" He shut the door and was engulfed in sudden silence and he grinned wider than he had in a long, long time as he walked toward the elevator. He was so thankful to have Cooper as a brother.

*~*~*

Blaine walked through his open office door and came face to face with Izzie sitting behind his desk in his chair. He glanced back at the front door then around the space. "Am I in the wrong office?" He asked with a bit more sarcasm than usual. "I could have sworn this was mine."

"Blaine Anderson, you are an hour late. No call, no text, no nothing to indicate you're still alive."

He saw the playful smirk on her face and he relaxed as he walked into the office and shut the door behind him. "I know. I'm sorry. I had to change trains twice and the station was closed."

Izzie eyed him curiously. "There's only one station closed for the day. Why the hell were you all the way over there?"

Blaine froze and shut his eyes silently cursing himself and his inability to think before he ever spoke. He turned, slightly tugged his lip between his teeth, and sank down into the chair across from Izzie. "What? I don't know-"

"Blaine," Izzie spoke softly, "why were you coming from over there?"

He gazed across the desk at her before he sighed and ran his hands over his face. "I moved out last week. I'm staying at a hotel over there."

"Oh, Blaine, why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugged and tilted his head back and shut his eyes. He was not going to cry here too. "I don't know. I guess I didn't want to admit it. If I'm being really honest, I don't think I wanted anyone to know that I failed at the one relationship I had. I don't want us to end. I want him to fight for us. I want to fight for us. I guess it isn't that simple though."

Izzie moved to speak, but a loud knock on the door interrupted them and one of the new interns came in. "Sorry to disturb you, but they're calling a meeting."

"Thanks." Blaine glanced at Izzie and shrugged his shoulders. "Come on, the theater is calling."

Izzie snorted and rolled her eyes before she latched onto his arm as they walked out. "You'll tell me if you need anything?"

He nodded and together they walked in silence toward the conference room.

*~*~*

"Mr. Anderson!"

Both men whipped around toward the front desk where the attendant was waving them over. Cooper had his Hollywood smile on and Blaine took a deep breath and prepared himself for the typical fan reaction to his brother. "Yes?"

The older attendant reached to his left side and pulled an envelope out of the row of metal cubbies. "This arrived from a young man while you were out. I assured him that I would deliver it to you directly."

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows as he took the envelope from the attendant. "Thank you so much." The man nodded and turned back toward his work. Blaine stared at the handwriting on the envelope as he and Cooper meandered through the lobby on their way back from dinner out. "It's Kurt's handwriting." He'd know that script anywhere.

"Hmmmm. I wonder why he didn't just call or email." Cooper pressed the 'up' button for the elevator and glanced over at his brother.

Blaine shrugged and carefully flipped the envelope over and over in his hands as he debated whether or not to open it. The elevator doors opened and both men stepped in and Blaine felt his brother's eyes on him as he continued to stare at the object. "What?"

"Well, are you going to open it or do I have to do it for you?"

"I don't know Coop. Why would he send me anything?"

"You have refused his calls and ignored his texts the past few days. He's most likely resorted to snail mail."

Blaine scoffed and walked out onto his floor and down the hall with Cooper trailing behind him. "That's because I don't know what to say, and I don't want to say anything I'll regret later." Blaine unlocked the front door and stepped inside. He shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over the desk chair as he made his way to the table in the corner. "I mean, for all I know it could be the final nail in the coffin."

"Oh for Christ's sake, Blaine, would you just _open_ the damn thing? You have too much of an imagination sometimes."

Blaine glared at him, but he slowly slid his finger under the flap and forced the pieces to separate and slid the folded piece of paper out.

_Blaine,_

_Not sure where you are but please talk to me. I know it's late, but if you can, please meet me at our spot in the park. I'd like to talk to you. Text me and let me know._

_I miss you._

_-Kurt_

Blaine groaned and threw the piece of paper onto the table before he flopped back in his chair. "I swear that man is going to make me lose my mind."

"You did that a long time ago, Squirt. What's it say?"

"He wants me to meet him at our spot tonight to talk."

"So go."

Blaine's head snapped up at his brother. Cooper said it so blithely, as if it were that easy. "It's nine at night, Cooper. It's late."

Cooper rolled his eyes. "So what, are you going to turn into a pumpkin? You wanted him to fight for you. Maybe he is. You won't know unless you go."

Blaine bit his lip and glanced at his phone before he reached for it. He quickly shot off a text before he could back out.

_Be there at 9:30. -B_

The response came almost instantaneously, as though Kurt had his phone in hand and was waiting for a message.

_Thank you. Meet you there. -K_

Blaine ran a hand over his face before he walked over to the chair and threw his jacket back on. "Okay, I'm going before I can change my mind. I'll be back in a bit."

"All right. Just text me if you decide to not come back here at all."

Blaine glared at Cooper before reaching for his key. "Not an option, Coop."

His brother just waved him off and reached for the remote. "Good luck, Blainey. I'm rooting for you guys."

"Me too, Coop." He stepped into the hallway and shut the door. He leaned back against it as his eyes closed and he spoke softly into the empty hallway.

"Me too."


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine walked out of the subway station and turned right as he saw the entrance to the small park a block away in front of him. He tugged his jacket closer around him and crossed his arms as he made his way along the sidewalk and towards the entrance. It wasn’t particularly cold outside, but there was a slight nip in the air; winter was on its way. The leaves on the trees that lined the sidewalks were falling faster towards the ground than they had a month ago and heavier clothing had begun to see the light. He loved this weather; this in between stage, when it wasn’t freezing, just cool enough at night to warrant his favorite navy blue pea coat that Kurt had made for him their first year in New York. It was special and contained too many memories wrapped inside to count.  
  
He glanced both ways before he hurriedly ran across the street and paused to take a deep breath to steady his nerves. Before a few days ago, he never would have been nervous around Kurt, at least not since high school. Now, he didn't know where they stood or what they still meant to each other, Blaine quickly forced those thoughts away and started walking into the small park. He followed along the path and wound around the playground before he spotted a lone figure on their bench with his back to him. His breath caught in his throat and he struggled to take in air as he felt the nervous butterflies in his stomach begin to flutter rapidly. He couldn’t turn around now.

He quietly made his way over to their spot and Kurt's face finally came into view; he looked to be as nervous as Blaine. He saw him holding a pair of coffee cups in his hands and wondered if he had brought him coffee. Kurt's head snapped up and glanced over at where he was standing in. Blaine sighed in realization that he had been spotted and he walked over to the bench. Kurt's eyes widened and he immediately stood up and tried not to spill anything 

"Hi."

Blaine smiled slightly and nodded his head at Kurt. "Hi."

Kurt took a steadying breath and shifted his weight back and forth. "Please, sit,” he said, and he gently motioned to the empty space on the bench and Blaine accepted it quickly. 

He desperately wanted to cut through the awkwardness that had crept up between them. Kurt held out a cup toward him and bit his lip. 

"I got you a black drip with cinnamon. I wasn't sure if you still liked it. I know it isn't your usual coffee order now but…" Kurt trailed off.

"Thank you, Kurt." They both stared out into the park and attempted to find the right words to start the conversation.

"I'm so sorry."

Blaine snapped his head in Kurt's direction. "What?"

Kurt sighed and turned toward him. "I'm so sorry about what's happened and how I've acted. I just, I'm so stressed out at work I can't think anymore. I'm exhausted all the time. Carole said something to me last month that has me constantly worrying about Dad. I just thought I was handling it all fine and then you left and I had to put a brave face on so no one knew I was cracking." 

Kurt was close to tears and Blaine just wanted to reach out and gather him in his arms but he knew they both had to get everything out. He hadn’t seen Kurt cry in years; he had always been the strong one in their relationship. It took everything he had to keep his hands folded.

"I'm just so sorry,” Kurt continued. “You have _no_ idea. I can't believe we got to this point. And God, Blaine, it's all my fault. I caused _all_ of this."

"No, hey, come on, it takes two to screw up a relationship, it's not just you. There are things I could have done."

Kurt looked at Blaine and he could see tears pooling in the man’s eyes. "Are we, I mean, please don't say we're through Blaine. Please."

Blaine gnawed at his lip for a second before he tentatively reached for Kurt's hand and lightly resting his own on top. Relief flooded through his entire body at the gentle touch; it felt right. "Kurt, I have never wanted to break up. I want to fight for us, I just didn't think you did."

Kurt sighed audibly in relief and turned his body toward Blaine. "Me too. Oh, me too. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

Blaine lifted his hand and placed them both in his lap. "This is it for me, Kurt. You are it. No one else. But…we need to work on our communication. We need to work on how we handle things. We need to be able to trust each other with everything." 

Kurt nodded in agreement. "We do need to work on that. Mostly me, but yes."

"That being said, I think I need to stay at the hotel for a while." He held his hand up to stop Kurt from interjecting. "Just wait, don't interrupt. Please. We need to work on communication and I think we need to start from the beginning with it. I will come home at some point. Of course I will. I just think we need distance to really work on this."

Kurt groaned frustrated with Blaine. "I hate it. I know you're right, somewhere deep down, but I hate it. I hate being alone, Blaine. I hate waking up to an empty house. I hate you not being there."

“That’s how I felt every time you stayed late or rushed out of the house for work.” Blaine shut his eyes for a minute and repeatedly told himself why it was good to stay at the hotel instead of rushing home. "I know, god Kurt I know, but we both need this."

Kurt nodded and knew it was for the best. "So what now?"

Blaine bit his lip and grinned, then raised an eyebrow. "You mean you don't have a plan?"

Kurt ran both his hands gently over the delicate skin of his face. "No. In hindsight a plan would have been good."

Blaine rolled his eyes and downed the last of his coffee. "Well, I currently have an annoying but somehow lovable brother in my room right now, so I need to go make sure he hasn't killed himself yet. It's not entirely out of the question."

"Oh God, did he actually show up? I thought he was filming."

Blaine nodded and stood up. "He was, he has to fly back to Chicago tomorrow. You should thank him. He's the one that reminded me why I wanted to come."

"I will sometime.” Kurt paused and seemed to consider the true implications of that. “Believe me, I will. So what now?"

"Now," Blaine shrugged and motioned for Kurt and he walked toward the end of the park with Kurt beside him. “Now we go home and sleep, because I have eager but rambunctious actors tomorrow, and you have a spring line to get out. After we get some sleep, we'll talk some more and figure it out. I promise."

Kurt nodded and stopped walking. "Wait, before you go..." Kurt trailed off as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. "I wrote this to you. You weren't there for me to talk to and I just...will you read it? I know it's not like me to write letters, but, I just..." Kurt fumbled for the right words and began to get flustered. 

"Hey, it's okay, Kurt. It's okay." Blaine reached for the envelope and held it in his hands for a second before he carefully placed it in the pocket inside of his jacket. “I promise I'll read it, okay?"

Kurt nodded and his body relaxed. "Thank you. I'll do whatever it takes Blaine. I promise you that, okay?"

Blaine nodded and motioned backwards. "I have to go. I'll call you soon and we'll figure this out okay?"

Kurt nodded and began to reach out for Blaine, but he quickly pulled back and just nodded again. "Okay. Thank you."

“Bye Kurt.” Blaine smiled and turned around to walk toward the busy New York streets and left Kurt to go back to the hotel. They had a lot of work to do and he wasn't the least bit sure on how to do it, but as he felt the slight crunch of the envelope in his pocket he had a new hope that they would work everything out after all. 

*~*

Blaine quietly shut the door behind him and tiptoed into the room as he tried not to wake his brother up. He knew Cooper had an early flight and, based on the dark circles that were currently under his eyes, Blaine knew he needed as much rest as possible. He would have to remember to thank his brother tomorrow for nudging him toward the door earlier that evening. While he and Kurt may be far from great, the bridge was beginning to rebuild and Blaine had hope for the first time in months that they would make it somehow.

Blaine quickly went about his night routine and threw his pajamas on - an old Hummel Lube and Tires tee and knit cotton pants that Kurt had bought him for Christmas two years ago; Blaine was certain by the feel of the fabric that they had cost a fortune. He switched the light on the nightstand on to its lowest setting and hoped it wouldn't disturb Cooper; it didn't. He padded over to his jacket and grabbed the letter from the pocket and he held it carefully as he got situated under the covers. He stared at it for a few minutes, suddenly nervous, and wondered what the folds contained. He peeled the flap open with gentle fingers and reached inside to pull the letter out.

He took a deep breath and began to read.

 

_Blaine,_

_I thought it might be easier to write a letter to you than to try to come up with the right words in person. I know I’ve been a jerk and an ass the past few months and, while work is stressing me out, it’s no excuse. I’m so sorry, Blaine, you have no idea. Those words seem so insignificant and small compared to how I feel, but there they are. I wish you could only know._

_It’s weird waking up and not having you here. I never realized what comfort and what love you gave me every day. I found one of your old NYU sweatshirts last night that still smelled like your cologne and, just, you. I may or may not have slept in it last night. It brought back memories of you and I trading clothing that first year, and then later, when I did the study abroad program in Paris. I remember opening the packages you sent with your NYU sweatshirt in them, practically dripping in your cologne, and God, I had never missed you so much as I did then. They comforted me so much while we were apart those six months. I look back on those separations we went through, the first year and then the six months, and I can’t believe how strong we ended up being from that. I look at us now and can’t help but think how we got here, though I know it was my fault. We’ve been through worse than this._

_I had a dream the other night from when we first moved in together into that tiny, shoebox apartment, remember? We were so lucky because your job was straight across the city and mine was near yours. It was so small -, that closet was pathetic, the cabinet colors were hideous, but I got over it because it was ours. Yours and mine. No more sharing dorms, obnoxious-as-hell roommates, no one to disturb us. (Well, except Rachel, but ten years later and that still hasn’t changed.) I still remember our fight over how to pay for it, I so badly wanted to us to do it on our own, but you were right then, still are; we wouldn’t have made it without your fund. We would have been exhausted from commuting and God only knows what else. I still can’t believe we just finished paying back that trust. I know you’re rolling your eyes right now. “Kurt, it’s our money, we don’t have to pay it back.” You will thank me one day, mister. I miss those days sometimes, when we were so broke, and over worked, and just trying to make it day to day. Those are some of my best memories._

_I haven’t been sleeping well since you left. When I do sleep, I’ll either get good dreams like those, or awful, terrible nightmares. Rachel’s been busy with the show but I can tell she’s curious and wonders about both of us. I didn’t even realize the show opens next month; I haven’t been a great friend lately. God I want to change that, I just don’t know how, I can’t see how it’s possible right now. I’ve alienated both of you, but mostly you, Blaine, and I am so deeply sorry._

_Please don’t give up on us, I beg of you. I know I’m not myself and I’m moody and bitchy and pissed off, but I promise it’s going to change soon. For the better. I love you so much. You are my world, whether you believe me right now or not, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get us back to where we were. No, I take that back, we can’t go back there. We have to be different, but better. Our relationship has always been built on support and trust and friendship before everything else. Please don’t give up._

_All my love,_

_Kurt_

 

Blaine reread the letter over and over engraining the words into his mind. It wasn’t like Kurt to express his thoughts down on paper, not like he usually did either. But he was touched that Kurt had felt the need to write something so personal to him, regardless of the situation; he had never done so before. He smiled at the memory of that first apartment, that first job that he had in New York City when they were struggling to make ends meet, when Kurt had refused his father’s help, and Burt had sent a check to Blaine every month without Kurt's knowledge.

He had always scowled when he met people who said the days they would treasure the most were the days where they could barely afford to live; now as he looked back on those times he understood every word. He missed the simplicity - the times where they had to make do with only having each other. He wondered how they could get back there; he missed them more than he even thought he could. 

"Blaine?"

"Yeah its me." He glanced over and saw his brother under the covers with sleep ruffled hair and squinting at him through the dim light in the room. "Sorry Coop, I didn't mean to wake you up. Go back to sleep."

"Did you see Kurt?"

"Yeah, I did." Blaine placed the letter back in the envelope and placed it safely in the nightstand before flipping the light switch. The only light that remained was the glittering of the city that came through the window. "I'll tell you about it in the morning."

"Mmmkay."

The corner of Blaine's mouth tugged into a small grin at his brother's semi-conscious state and at the surprising turn of events from this evening. For the first time in months he felt himself relax with the hope that his life with Kurt could soon begin to be repaired.


	6. Chapter 6

Blaine gently set the phone back in its cradle and spun around in search of his brother. He heard the faucet shut off and the bathroom door opened as Cooper stepped back out into the room. “Hey Coop. The cab will be here soon.”

“Thanks, Blainey.” Cooper gently ruffled Blaine’s curls then quickly moved out of the way to avoid the arm that swung out toward him. “Hey now, be careful. You don’t want to damage the famous movie star with looks that rival a Disney prince.”

“What movie star?” Blaine glanced around the room. “No movie star here. Just a nosy older brother with big feet and questionable style.”

“Hey now, what’s wrong with my style?”

“Nothing if you ride a motorcycle.” 

“My style is classic, unlike you who wears bowties and rides something else.”

_“Cooper!”_

The older man grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “What? Am I wrong? I was always taught not to lie to anyone.”

Blaine burst out laughing and sat down on the corner of the bed to catch his breath. “Yeah, says the man who forged his first résumé.”

“You know what? Do as I say, not as I do.” Cooper flopped down on his back beside him and stretched his arms up toward the pillows. The two sat in silence for a few minutes as horns honked outside the window. “So,” Cooper said finally. “Are you going to write him back?”

Blaine bit his lip and fell back to lie next to him. “I think so. Kurt doesn’t do things like that; he doesn’t make the little gestures. I’m usually the one to leave notes everywhere and waxes poetic about his eyes or something.”

Cooper snorted. “I hardly call it poetic.”

“He tried though. He’s trying. We both want this- we- I don’t want to try to live without him Coop.”

Cooper smiled sadly and pulled Blaine across into an awkward hug. “I know. God, I’m rooting for you two. You have no idea, Blaine. If anyone deserves to have that kind of forever happiness, it’s you. It makes me feel better, knowing that you and Kurt are here taking on the world when I can’t be there for you.”

Blaine nudged his brother in the side. “Hey, none of that. We don’t do sappy emotional stuff anymore remember? We agreed on that my junior year of college.”

“Ah yes. The famous Anderson nervous breakdown. Then what do you call last night?”

Blaine thought for a minute before he shrugged a shoulder and sat up. “Temporary insanity.”

“Ooooh. I wonder if I can get away with that on set. I should remember that.”

“And on that note,” Blaine interrupted before Cooper could continue, “your cab is probably going to be here any minute.” He watched as Cooper stood up and gathered his luggage and messenger bag and checked around the room one last time to ensure he had all his belongings.

Blaine grabbed his keys and a jacket and held the door open for Cooper. They slowly made their way down the hall toward the elevator in silence as he wished, as always, that his brother could stay a little longer. 

The elevator doors closed and Cooper sighed and turned. “Are you going to be okay? Honestly. I worry about you. I know you’re old enough but you’ll always be my little brother, Blaine.”

Blaine bit his lip and nodded as the doors to the elevator opened and they both stepped out into the lobby. “I’ll be fine, Coop, things are looking up. If I do need you, or I’m not okay, I promise I’ll call, okay?”

Cooper nodded and they walked out the front door and down the short steps to see a cab parked in front of the hotel. The driver stepped out and reached for Cooper’s bags and placed them in the trunk. Cooper turned toward Blaine and pulled him into a hug. “I love you, Blainey. No distance changes that. I’m always here for you.”

Blaine squeezed him a little tighter and nodded. “I know. I love you too.” They pulled away from each other and Cooper squeezed his brother’s shoulder before he opened the door to the cab and sat inside. “ _Promise_ you’ll call if you need me.”

“I promise,” Blaine said again. “Let me know when you get back to Chicago so I don’t have to worry.” He watched as Cooper nodded then motioned to the driver to leave. Blaine waved goodbye and waited until the cab turned the corner and was gone from sight before he shoved his hands into his pockets and began to walk away from the hotel. He jogged across the street and stepped up on the sidewalk and narrowly missed a dog walker and her pack as he stumbled around them. He smiled at the sight of the dogs and the walker as she attempted to get a handle on the pack of eight. 

He approached the door to his new coffee shop and hurried to hold it open for two women and received a thank you before he followed them inside. He took a deep breath as he entered the short line and peered over to the glass case as he felt his sweet tooth making an appearance. He frowned as the last Snickerdoodle cookie was bought before he could get to it and glanced down the rows again for something else. The ladies in front of him finished their order and he moved up to the counter and smiled as he ordered a latte. 

“Did you just move into the area?”

Blaine furrowed his brow at the barista who asked him the question. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I haven’t seen you around here before and now all of a sudden you’re in here every day. I was just wondering, feel free to tell me to shut up and mind my own business though.” The woman took the ten-dollar bill from him and gave him a friendly smile.

Blaine chuckled and shrugged. “I’m staying at a hotel down the street for a few weeks, that’s all. Though I’ll definitely be coming back here because your coffee is some of the best I’ve had.”

“Oh, living in a hotel, that’s not fun. I’m sorry, for whatever the reason is that you are.” She handed him his change and folded her hands on the counter in front of her. “Hopefully everything works out for you, although don’t forget about us over here.”

He pocketed his change and glanced at her name-tag, then stepped out of the way for the couple behind him. “Thank you, Emily, and I won’t forget this place. I will _definitely_ be back.” He gave her a small wave and headed over towards the bar to wait for his drink. 

He glanced around the coffee shop, at its warm, homey interior and the plush, oversized leather couches placed around the space. It reminded him of the coffee shop that he and Kurt used to frequent when he had finally moved out to the city, all those years ago.

Kurt had found out about it months before Blaine had graduated but refused to go inside until they were both living there, together. The second day Blaine was in the city, Kurt had dragged him to that coffee shop and they spent three hours there, on one of the comfortable brown leather couches, curled up together and reveling in the fact that they were out in public and no one was batting an eyelash. Blaine grinned at the memory as he recalled the feeling of being free, of finally being able to hold his boyfriend’s hand and kiss him and no one cared.

Blaine snapped out of his reminiscence and reached for his drink before he made his way through the patrons toward the exit. He pushed the door open and stepped out into the fresh air, merging carefully into the foot traffic already walking through the area. He reached the corner and paused for a sip of coffee as he decided what to do.

He had the morning off as his classes didn’t start until after noon, and while he had been working way too much lately, there was still the draft of the script for the workshop’s musical to finish. He pursed his lips before he spun on his heel and headed back toward the hotel to grab his bag. He had no other plans until later and he guessed it wouldn’t hurt to finish it sooner rather than later, in case his colleagues wanted a lot of revisions.

He leapt up the steps and walked inside and waved at the now familiar face at the front desk.

“Mr. Anderson!”

Blaine quickly backtracked and jogged over to the counter. “Yes?”

“I have another letter for you.” The man reached over to the box on the side and pulled it out before he passed it to Blaine. “Another no-name.”

“It’s alright,” Blaine spoke softly as a smile slowly crept up. “I know who they’re from.”

“Well, whoever he is, he’s very lucky.”

Blaine’s head shot up at the comment. “How did you know it was a he?”

The older man rolled his eyes. “That tall gentleman with you, your brother I believe. We had a nice chat while he was here.”

“Of course you did. He makes friends wherever he goes,” Blaine mumbled and ran his fingers gently over the envelope. “Thank you. Did Kurt drop it by?”

“Does he look like he walked out of a magazine?”

Blaine chuckled and his head fell backwards at the accurate description. “Yeah, that’s him. About how long ago?”

The man glanced at the clock on the wall across from them. “Oh, about ten minutes ago I think. A few minutes after you and your brother left.”

Blaine nodded and held the letter up. “Thank you for getting this to me.”

“You’re very welcome, Mr. Anderson. Have a wonderful day.”

“You too.” Blaine walked toward the elevators and stared at the envelope in his hands. Kurt had never, in the history of their relationship, written anything longer than six sentences on paper to him. Now, he had received two letters in less than twenty-four hours. He wasn't sure what to think anymore, but he hoped it meant that Kurt really was trying. 

He walked down the small hallway, opened the door to his room, and set his coffee down on the nightstand once he got inside. Blaine sat down on the bed as he traced his name on the front with his finger then swiftly opened the sealed flap and began to read the letter. 

 

_Blaine,_

_I hope you don't mind me dropping this off at the hotel; I plan on writing you every day until you come home. Wow, that sounded weird. Or romantic. Not sure which one right now._

_On my way home last night after we talked, I walked past that little bakery we used to go to, remember? We used to get a slice of cheesecake and a slice of cherry pie and we'd share. It used to be our weekly Wednesday date when you didn’t teach that night. I remember one time, when they had closed for a week for some reason, and you tried to make a cherry pie from scratch at home. I think there was more flour on you than there was in the crust. I remember I walked in after work and I peeked around the corner of the kitchen to see you covered in flour from your hair down to your knees. I still don't understand how one person can create that much of a mess in the kitchen. It was so adorable that I burst out laughing and you looked so defeated. Then later that week you almost burnt the apartment down when you forgot about the cookies in the oven. Aren't you glad I bought you that timer? See? Baking can be hazardous to your health._

_Rachel came over early this morning and effectively kicked my ass into understanding just how awful I’ve been lately. She used her "escalated stage voice." I know I keep repeating myself, but I am so sorry Blaine. I have been working so much and so hard lately., and I know it isn’t an excuse, but it has just consumed me. I have never felt this stressed in my life. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel unloved or unwanted. I’m trying so hard to keep everything afloat right now and our relationship just got lost in the shuffle. I’ll work on whatever I can to show you how much I love you. You are my entire world Blaine._

_All my heart,_

_Kurt_

 

Blaine bit his lip at the end of the letter and then reread it one more time before he slipped it back into the envelope. He knew it wasn't easy for Kurt to write his feelings down and face them, but these letters made Blaine fall in love with him even more. Not that he had ever fallen out of love with him. Kurt had said that he would continue writing letters and Blaine wondered just what was to come in those. 

He looked up from the envelope and glanced around the room; his eyes settled on the desk along the opposite wall. He crossed the room and opened the small drawer and was rewarded with what he hoped he'd find: hotel stationary. He reached for a sheet and an envelope and placed them on the desktop and searched around the room. He shut the drawer with his hip as he walked back to the side of the bed and grabbed the pen that was placed on top of the small notepad. He spun the instrument between his fingers and sat down in the leatherette executive chair and thought about his response. If Kurt was going to take time out of his hectic schedule to write these letters everyday he could certainly write a letter back to him.

 

_Kurt,_

_Rachel, huh? I actually feel sorry for you. It’s my experience that being on the receiving end of her "escalated stage voice" talks make ears bleed and glass break._

_And Kurt, I know you're sorry. I do. As nice as it is to hear, you don't have to repeat it. I believe you. The question is, where to go from here?. I just, I mean, what's not to say that this won't happen in a few months? You getting stressed at the office, you becoming cold and distant again... I'm not saying I don't think anything will change, because I know things will change for the better now. But what about the future, Kurt?_

_I love you, so much that it hurts to breathe sometime, and I know that you are the one for me, without a doubt. Where do we go from here though?_

_Remember our old coffee shop that we used to go to when we got our first place? It's still there and open late on Fridays. Meet me there tomorrow night? 8:00?_

_Love you always,_

_Blaine_

 

Blaine sat back and read through the letter three times before he felt comfortable with it. He gently folded the paper and slid it into the envelope before he sealed it and wrote 'Kurt' on the front. He glanced at the clock on the nightstand that read 10:45am. When did it get so late? Kurt would be at work now, he knew that, and decided he could walk over and leave it under the door. 

He stood up and reached for his jacket and hastily threw it on over his shirt. He didn't want to take the chance of Kurt running home for something at lunch. He tucked the envelope into his inside pocket, reached for his keys and phone, and grabbed his still-warm coffee. Hopefully Kurt wouldn't be disappointed in his own response. 

*~*~*

Blaine stood in front of the brick building and felt his heart start to ache and tighten. He missed coming home here every night; he missed the familiar street signs and he missed the activity from the neighborhood in the morning. He missed the kids playing in the street on the weekends or riding their bikes in excitement. As he climbed the front steps, he stared at the front door he wondered if it was a good idea to drop the letter off himself. He took a deep breath and quickly slid the letter through the mail slot, as fast as he could, before he stepped back. He took in the familiar brick building one last time and hoped he could come back soon. 

"Blaine?"

Blaine's head snapped around at the sound of his name and let out the breath that he had been holding. "Rachel. Hi."

She stood at the bottom of the stairs and stared up at him with curiosity in her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't realize you were coming."

"Oh no." Blaine shook his head emphatically and motioned behind him. "I was…I was just dropping a letter off. For Kurt."

Rachel squealed and grinned. "Like the ones he's been writing? Oh, it's so romantic don't you think? I couldn't believe it when Kurt suggested it, considering he's never done anything like that before, I thought it was so wonderful-"

Blaine cleared his throat and tried to stop her rambling. "Anyway, I need to get going. I just wanted to drop it off."

"I'm dropping off food for him that's fresh. He rarely leaves except for work."

Blaine bit his lip and asked the one question he was trying to avoid. But he needed to know. "How is he?"

Rachel's features softened and shrugged her shoulders as she climbed the concrete steps. "He's beyond sorry. He's trying to take it one day at a time without you there. I don't think he truly understood how much you relied on each other until you weren't there anymore. He has a lot more hope now that you two have talked. His eyes are shining a little bit more now. How are you though?"

Blaine inhaled sharply surprised at all the information and the subsequent question. "I'm okay. I think. Cooper showed up yesterday so that helped. I feel - I know this is probably the wrong thing to say - but I feel like Kurt might finally be appreciating what we had and how much we took care of each other without knowing it. I feel like he's seeing the value of our relationship and of us." 

Rachel nodded and juggled the bag in her arms before she pulled him in for a quick bug. "It's working, I promise you that. I'm finally seeing the Kurt from when we lived in the same apartment and he used to shove me out the door for the evening."

Blaine laughed along with Rachel at the fond memory from his freshman year at NYU. "Kurt was a spit fire then. It's still there, Rachel, he just has to find it again."

She nodded then gestured to the produce in her arms. "I better get these inside before they wilt. Keep at it, Blaine. You're getting to him."

Blaine nodded and waved goodbye to Rachel as she entered the town home and he quickly whipped around and hurried down the steps, afraid of what emotions might reveal themselves if he glanced at the inside. He strolled back down the familiar street and took in the comforting sights that surrounded him.

The ball was in Kurt's court now; he was just on defense.


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine checked his hair in the reflection of the store window one more time as he waited at the curb for the signal to change. He hadn't felt this nervous about meeting someone in a long time and had forgotten his mental checklist to calm himself down. Fumbling with the last two buttons on his jacket, he inhaled the cool air and reminded himself it was just Kurt and. He saw the signal change and he joined the throngs of New Yorkers that rushed through the area, on their way out on the town for the evening. He remembered how he and Kurt, with a few of their friends, used to be part of that group. They would have grabbed a table at their favorite bar that hosted karaoke and would sing until late into the night before they dragged themselves home to bed, only to wake the next morning with forgotten homework and killer hangovers. Sometimes he wished life were still like those nights at the bar - carefree and _fun._

Blaine spotted the familiar storefront and paused on the edge of the sidewalk as all the memories flooded back to him. He remembered their first foray here ten years ago and all the feelings he had felt at finally being here in New York City, with Kurt, to live the life he had always dreamed of. He remembered all the study dates, quick breaks in their hectic schedules, and long relaxed evenings curled up together on the large leather sofa that he was sure was no longer there. He glanced up ahead at the sign one more time before he walked the last few feet to the entrance. 

He pulled the heavy door open and heard the small bell chime above him. That tiny, crisp ding was always one of his favorite sounds and he was glad to see that at least that hadn’t changed. He glanced around the cozy shop and let the warmth and aroma of freshly ground beans envelope him. Blaine spotted Kurt off to the side of the shop and his breath caught in his throat. 

Kurt was sitting on the well-worn couch against the wall that they had spent many nights curled up together on. Kurt looked up from the two cups he was holding and grinned as his face lit up. Blaine took a deep breath and smiled back and made his way through the tables to join him. 

Kurt stood up as Blaine approached him and cleared his throat nervously. “Hey.”

Blaine couldn’t help but smile. He reached for Kurt’s arm and rubbed it lightly. “Hey. I’m glad you came.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it, Blaine.” Kurt glanced down at the two cups in his hands and held the left one out for Blaine. “I got you a latte. I hope that’s okay.”

Blaine took the hot cup from him and allowed the scent to pierce through the air. “It’s perfect. Thank you.” They both moved back toward the large leather couch and settled comfortably back into the worn piece of furniture. “I can’t believe they still have this thing.”

“Neither could I! I walked in thirty minutes ago and saw it over here. I thought they would have gotten rid of it years ago. I ran over and threw my jacket across it so no one would sit here while I got our coffee.”

“You risked your McQueen jacket for the old, worn-out couch?” Blaine asked fondly.

Kurt shrugged and his cheeks flushed a faint rose color. “Well, it’s _our_ couch. It seemed only right that we sit here today.”

Blaine bit his lip and stared at the man across from him who had suddenly started to surprise him. “Kurt.”

Kurt blushed an even darker shade and quickly took a gulp of his coffee, wincing as the heat seared his mouth. “What?” Blaine didn’t respond and Kurt stared down at the warm mug nestled between his hands. “Don’t look at me like that. It makes me nervous.”

“Hey,” Blaine spoke quietly and he reached out and tipped Kurt’s head up gently to look at him. “Don’t be nervous. It’s just us.”

Kurt bit his lip and stared back at Blaine before he took in a deep breath. “But that’s just it, Blaine. What is us? What are we? I don’t-”

“Please, Kurt, not today.” Blaine glanced down at the floor and bit his lip as he tried to keep his emotions from surfacing. “I don’t have the answer for you and I won’t have it today. Just, please, I don’t want to do this today.”

Kurt nodded and whispered a faint acknowledgement before tracing his finger around the top of his coffee.

Blaine knew he had probably taken his words in a different meaning and he reached out to gently place his hand on top of Kurt’s. “We will talk about everything, Kurt, I promise. But today, I just- it’s just two great friends sharing their lives, okay?” The words felt odd as they tumbled out of Blaine’s mouth; they were never just great friends. They had always been more.

Kurt glanced up through his eyelashes at him and let out the breath he seemed to have been holding before a smile crept across his face. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Good.” Blaine smiled back and took a quick sip of his latte and savored the taste. “So how are Burt and Carole?”

Kurt quickly swallowed and ran his hand over his thigh. “They’re good. I mean, Dad has had me worried for a few weeks now, regardless of what he or Carole say about his health, but I think they’re okay.”

Blaine furrowed his brows in concern. “What do you mean _worried_?”

Kurt sighed and tilted his head to stare up at the ceiling for a minute before he focused his attention back to Blaine. “He said a few weeks ago that he had a few chest pains off and on for a couple of days. I wanted him to go to the hospital but he refused, he said they weren’t that bad. Carole said he’s been a little sluggish lately and sometimes a little out of breath. She said not to worry.”

“Carole’s a nurse, Kurt. I’m sure she knows what she’s talking about.”

“Yes, I know,” Kurt shot back with narrowed eyes before he realized how loud he had been. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, but he’s my _dad_ , you know? It was just the two of us for so long. I can’t help but worry about him.”

Blaine nodded, not knowing that feeling for his own family, but he certainly worried about Burt himself. He had grown close to the man and felt as though he was a father to him. “Have you talked to him about it? I think he’d probably understand why you worried if you told him.”

Kurt shook his head and took another sip of his drink. “No, every time I try he just gets grumpy and changes the subject. I’ll force him to listen to me soon, somehow.”

Blaine smirked into his mug before he took a sip. Kurt was just like his father, in the best way possible, but still stubborn as a mule. He wondered if Kurt would ever realize it himself.

Kurt took a deep breath and sat back into the worn leather sofa and he seemed to finally relax. “Enough of that. How’s the theater doing? What have you been working on?”

Blaine chuckled and crossed his legs as he tucked himself into the corner of the couch. “Oh, it’s doing fine. We’re busier than any of us thought it would be. Some of the kids are keeping us busier and on our toes more than others.”

“Ooh, I sense a story there.”

Blaine laughed and took another sip of his latte. “Oh, you sense about a dozen stories there.”

Kurt sat up as his eyes sparkled and grinned excitedly. “Oh tell me, I’m always up for good stories.”

He laughed and got comfortable as he began to regale Kurt with the latest news from the theater.

*~*~*

“That tone was perfect, Derek, just great. next time we’re going over the new music so please make sure you bring that with you alright?” Blaine chuckled at the loud groans from his students before he waved them off for the day. “Go on, get out of here. See you on Thursday.”

Blaine reached for the sheet music on top of the piano and carefully placed it in his master folder. He walked away from the piano and towards his desk to grab his bag. Today was the first day in a week that he had been able to catch up on all of his work and could leave at a normal time. He threw his old, worn leather messenger bag on top of the desk and began to place his music and student assignments in it. 

“Oh my God, are you actually leaving?”

Blaine grinned at Izzie, who was casually propped up against the doorframe with her arms crossed and a stack of papers in her hands. “Why yes, I am. Isn’t it fantastic?”

“It’s not fair, that’s what it is. Teach me your ways, Anderson. I’m here for another two hours at least.”

“Yes well some of us actually get our work done on time.”

“Says the man who’s been late on that for two weeks now.”

Blaine rolled his eyes and buckled the flap of his bag shut “As much as I adore you, is there a reason for this lovely visit today?” he asked as he reached for the coat draped over the back of his chair.

Izzie smiled, unfolded her arms and held out a letter that was gently tucked on top of the stack in her hand. “A certain gentleman dropped this off about two hours ago. I promised him you’d get it.”

Blaine’s breath hitched and he bit his lip and reached for the envelope while he tried to suppress his grin. “Thanks, Iz.”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Do I get to know what’s inside that?”

“Nope.”

“Oooh, it’s one of _those_ letters.”

“No, it is not!” Blaine tried not to blush at her comment as he set it on the desk and slipped an arm into his coat. “It’s just personal, that’s all.”

“Mmhmm. That’s why you’re blushing furiously right now.”

“I’m going home.”

"Sure you are."

Blaine sighed and turned to face her. "Are you ever going to act your age?"

"Hell no," Izzie balked and rolled her eyes as she turned to walk out of the room. "Then I would have to grow up. Who wants to do that?"

Blaine shook his head and watched her leave as he hitched his bag onto his shoulder and headed out of the classroom. He locked the door behind him and glanced down at the envelope in his hands and wondered what Kurt had written. As he thought back to the letters he had already received, the corner of his mouth twitched. He had never thought until recently that he would have enjoyed these letters that they’d been sending back and forth the past week. They were clear, physical reminders of their relationship and why they were worth the fight for each other. 

Blaine stepped into the cool weather and pulled his jacket around him more closely. The crisp, cold air enveloped him and he couldn't help but smile; it meant the holidays were coming. He walked with the hordes of New Yorkers who were also on their way home for the evening as he thought about what takeout he wanted and what his evening in would look like. He followed the crowd down into the subway and swiped his card before he walked through to wait for the train. 

He waited until he was safely tucked away in his hotel room with Chinese takeout cradled in his lap as reruns of Project Runway, a habit Kurt had forced on him that he now enjoyed, played softly in the background to open the latest letter. This one looked like it might be longer than the previous letters and he was instantly curious to read its contents. 

 

_Blaine,_

_What a day it's been so far. Some of the samples got misplaced in tracking and Di and I ended up scrambling all over the city this morning picking them up. I am completely exhausted from it and it's only four o'clock. Things are more hectic than usual, lately, what with the runway show in a few weeks and working in fittings and last minute changes and new patterns. I'll be so glad when the show is over._

_I was going through one of our albums last night and ran across the picture we took in high school at Sam's birthday. The one with the slide? God, that was such a great night. I still remember the look you had when we drove up to Sugar's house and saw that huge bouncy water slide. Your face could have lit up an entire football stadium. All of us came out with so many bruises that night from everyone crashing into each other and from when Rachel fell down the steps trying to get to the top._

_When we had all had enough of that there was the bonfire after dinner that night, remember? They had that massive fire pit in the backyard and we all grabbed a ton of blankets and pillows and gathered around it. Puck and Sam had brought their guitars and played songs and we all sang. You and I had found a lounge chair earlier and had curled up on it with the blanket you gave me for my birthday. Later that night, almost everyone had fallen asleep and we stayed up curled under the blanket, with your head on my chest, and talked about the future and all the possibilities. You probably don’t know this, I’ve never told you, but I have the picture of us from that night that Sugar took, on that lounge chair, taped to the inside drawer of my desk at work. It’s one of my favorite pictures of us and reminds me to have fun and try to slow down. I know I haven’t slowed down at all lately, but I promise I still look at that picture every day when I’m at work and smile._

_I miss having you next to me at night and sharing stories about our days like we used to. I miss coming home and having movie nights that would inevitably turn into throwing popcorn at each other. I miss you snuggling up to me at night because you’re cold and I’m always warm. I miss waking up to coffee filtering through the air and you dancing in the kitchen to the radio by yourself until you force me join you. I miss planning crazy trips with you that we won’t take but still plan anyway. I turned on reruns of America’s Next Top Model the other night and turned to say something, but you weren’t there. It’s not the same anymore._

_I miss you terribly, every day, but I know that you need time to decide what you want. I’ve already made my mind up, Blaine. I want you. All of you. Every single day and night. It’s no question for me. I can’t promise to always be the perfect partner but I CAN promise you that I will do everything I can to communicate and make sure you know how much you are wanted and needed every day. I can promise to listen and attempt to control my temper and talk things out rationally. I hope that’s enough for you, and if it’s not, well, I’ll have to learn a new kind of life. I don’t want to though - I want you._

_I love you with all my heart,_

_Kurt_

 

Blaine lifted a hand to his face and felt the dampness on his cheeks as he finished reading the letter. He smiled through his tears as he reread the last paragraph of the letter over and over again until he’d memorized it. Kurt had never been the one in their relationship to lay all his emotions and feelings out at once and he had certainly never said anything like he just had in this letter. Blaine knew that it meant Kurt was trying for him.

He wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and moved across the room to place the letter in his bag for safekeeping. He sat down at the desk with a pen in his hand and began to think of a response.

*~*~*

Blaine dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling and groaned at the commotion going on around him. After two hours of constant bickering and arguing, they were no closer to deciding what student submission would be shown in spring than they were at the beginning of the meeting. He glanced at Izzie, who rolled her eyes at him, and he was glad to know that he wasn’t the only one annoyed with the current situation. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and jumped at the sudden feeling. He pulled out his phone and hit decline without seeing the screen and shoved it back in.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hmmm?” Blaine glanced at Izzie before he shook his head and turned back to the menagerie gathered around the large table. “Nothing, why?”

“Why? Probably because you’ve been jumpy for two days straight now and get more agitated by the second. Why don’t you just answer your phone? That’s the second time it’s rung.”

“Because I am in a meeting that’s important, though clearly no one else got the message. And I am not agitated.” Blaine shut his eyes and took a deep breath before he looked back at her. “I’m sorry, Iz. I didn’t mean to snap.”

Izzie took a sip of her now-cold coffee and grimaced before she swallowed. “What’s wrong? Anything I can help with?”

Blaine shook his head no and sat back in his chair. “No. I just, I haven’t heard anything from Kurt in two days. It’s probably nothing, but he’s been writing these letters every day, and I just thought it was odd. Maybe he finally gave up.”

“No way. Nuh uh. That man is madly in love with you. I’ve seen those letters, Blaine, trust me, he’s not giving up anytime soon.”

Blaine choked on the coffee he had just sipped and glanced around to see if anyone had heard them; they hadn’t. “What do you mean you’ve seen them? How?”

“Oh please. I rifled through your bag. You should know after four years of friendship that I’m a Nosy Nellie. Also, you should probably keep them a little more hidden.”

“Izzie stop going...” Blaine trailed off as he felt his phone vibrate again and pulled it out to glance at the caller. “It’s Kurt. I’m going to take this okay? I think he’s been calling.”

She waved him off and he quickly ducked out of the chaos and stepped into the quiet solace of the hall. “Hey.”

“Hey Blaine. Are you home?”

Blaine furrowed his brows at the stuffy sound of Kurt’s voice through the phone. “No, I’m in a meeting at the theater. Why?”

“Can you get out of it and meet me at your hotel room?”

Blaine quickly became concerned when he heard the slight quivering and unsteadiness in his voice. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“ _Please_ , Blaine, I just really need you right now. Can you please just get out of it and come?”

Blaine bit his lip and glanced back into the room where everyone was still arguing. “Yeah give me a few minutes. Are you hurt or anything?”

“No, I’m not hurt. Just, please meet me at your room okay?”

“Okay I’ll be there as soon as I can.” 

“Thank you.”

“Be there in a bit.” Blaine hung the phone up and stared at the object for a few seconds as he wondered what could possibly be wrong. He shoved the phone back into his pocket and pushed the door open as loud voices greeted him. He hurriedly walked back to his spot and bent over to grab his bag. “Izzie, I have to go.”

She looked back at him in concern. “Is everything okay?”

“I don’t know,” Blaine shrugged his shoulders and threw his belongings in the leather bag. “He sounded really upset. I’m sorry.”

“No it’s fine, you go. I’ll cover you and let you know what happens. I know what you want done anyway.”

“Thanks Iz, you’re amazing.” He kissed her quickly on her forehead as he threw his jacket on and swung his bag over his head on the way out. No one else seemed to notice he left as he glanced over his shoulder before he walked quickly down the hall toward the elevators. Kurt had sounded horribly upset and he hoped that nothing serious had happened. Kurt had called him, though; when he needed him the most and he would do what he needed to be there for him.


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for the elevator doors to close. He pressed the button for his floor again and again. He had hurried as fast as he could back to the hotel and, thankful that it had only taken him forty minutes to get there from the theater. The way Kurt had sounded on the phone concerned him; it worried Blaine that Kurt was upset enough to let it show. Kurt hasn't been that distressed since their tearful conversation years ago about _the event that shall not be named_. As Blaine racked his brain to look for something that could explain it, the elevator doors finally opened and he hurriedly turned right towards his room.

Kurt had said something the other day about Burt. A wave of panic spread through Blaine; surely Kurt would have told him immediately over the phone if something had happened to his dad. He reached the end of the hallway and when he turned the corner, he saw Kurt ahead, seated on the floor in front of Blaine's door, with his arms wrapped tight around his legs. Kurt’s overall appearance did nothing to lessen Blaine’s worry.

Kurt had skinny jeans on with his favorite lace-up combat boots, which were so worn they were close to falling apart. His hair seemed to have little-to-no product in it and Blaine himself had rarely seen it unstyled in all their long years together. Blaine's old, worn-in NYU sweatshirt covered Kurt's torso and Blaine's heart broke; Kurt only ever wore his hoodie on a really, really bad day. Kurt's head was down and he was curled in on his own body, making himself as small as possible. His shoulders were slightly shaking. Blaine slowed his steps as he got closer so as not to scare Kurt. 

"Kurt?" Blaine asked, as softly as he could.

Kurt's head shot up and Blaine immediately saw his red-rimmed eyes and dried tear tracks. As soon as Kurt's eyes locked with Blaine's the tears began anew, and Kurt threw a hand over his mouth. His eyes squeezed shut as the tears threatened to fall harder and Blaine's heart broke all over again. 

"What’s wrong?" Blaine rushed that last few steps to get to him and bent down to run a hand through Kurt's hair. "What happened?" 

Kurt just shook his head as the tears fell harder and leaned towards him. Blaine wrapped an arm around him. 

"Come on, let’s go inside okay?" He felt Kurt nod and Blaine helped him stand before he grabbed his key out of his pocket and opened the door. 

Blaine slipped the strap of his bag over his head and gently placed it on the top of the desk. He watched as Kurt sank down into the bed and Blaine padded over to sit down beside him. Kurt turned into his side and curled into Blaine’s body without hesitation. Blaine wrapped his arms around him as Kurt sobbed into his neck. He felt Kurt's tears seeping into his shirt and just held him closer. "What happened?"

Kurt shook his head but Blaine couldn't tell which direction and bit his lip before he tried again. "Is it your dad? Is he okay? Is-"

"My dad's fine, Blaine. It's me! _I'm_ not okay!" Kurt shouted through his tears and he tore himself from Blaine's arms to stand in front of him. "I lost my job, Blaine! My job! I have been working my ass off for months because there was a promotion happening and they said if I proved myself I would get it! Fuck I'm so stupid!"

Blaine watched, stunned, at Kurt’s outburst as Kurt paced back and forth in front of him. Blaine couldn't understand why Kurt was blaming himself. 

"Kurt, you are not stupid,” he said earnestly. “You were trying for a promotion? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you weren't supposed to know! I was going to surprise you because we had talked about starting a family and how insane an idea it was because both of our schedules are crazy and we rarely have time to just be as is. But this new position would have given me back normal hours, with the exception of the shows, and we would have had more money and we could have started our family, So I've been working my ass off, day and night, to prove myself to get that promotion, but surprise! Apparently the entire fucking company went bankrupt and every fucking person was let go. Meanwhile, Cristian, my dear sweet boss, is gone and no one can find him. So here I am without the love of my life, no job, no prospects for a replacement job, and every single fucking thing I have worked for is gone and I've been so afraid that you'll actually leave me for good and I just want my life back!"

Kurt covered his face with his hands and dissolved into hysterical sobs again. Blaine sat, shell-shocked at his confession, for a few seconds before he stood up and walked over to gather Kurt in his arms.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry. It's okay sweetheart, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm right here." He held Kurt close and ran a hand through his thick hair as he whispered soothing words in his ear. He had known that Kurt had been stressed, they had talked about that, but he had no idea that it had gotten this bad. A wave of sadness swept through him that Kurt had kept it hidden from him all this time, regardless of his reasons. Everything could have been so different if they’d worked through this together. As a couple.

Blaine felt the last of Kurt’s energy drain out of him, leaving him weak and limp in his arms, and Blaine gently guided Kurt back to the bed before his knees gave out. Blaine continued to hold him until Kurt's sobs subsided after awhile and became soft sniffles. He carefully brushed Kurt's bangs off his face and pressed a gentle kiss to his temple. 

Kurt sniffled and pulled back a few inches as he turned his head to wipe the tears from his face with the edge of the sweatshirt. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down like that."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "I think that has been a long time coming now. Why do you always try to be so strong?"

Kurt bit his lip and rested his head on Blaine's shoulder. "I guess it's a force of habit now. I'm used to everyone else breaking around me and I'm always left to keep the pieces together. I had to keep it together."

"Kurt. You don't have to be strong for me. I know you. Please don't raise that barrier around me, not again."

Kurt nodded his head and glanced at Blaine through wet, clumped eyelashes. "I’m sorry. It’s a hard habit to break."

"Well, let me be the strong person now, okay? You and I are partners and boyfriends, we’re in this together; you aren’t alone. Let me help you through this?" Kurt sighed and nodded weakly, and Blaine considered it a victory when it came to Kurt. "So can we talk about this now? You and me, no hiding, just honesty?" Kurt nodded in agreement again, and Blaine took a deep breath. 

"Why didn't you ever mention to me that you were going for the promotion or even thinking about it?"

Kurt unwrapped himself from Blaine's arms and moved to sit across from him on the bed. Blaine hated that Kurt still felt like he needed that distance. 

"I honestly wanted to surprise you. It would have made our future easier and less stressful. Ever since we had that talk about maybe starting a family together, I realized I would have to be the one to cut my hours in order to raise a child the way we wanted." Blaine opened his mouth to argue but Kurt quickly held a hand up. "No, Blaine. Just listen to me. You _love_ that theater. It is your brainchild with your friends from college and you have put so much work and blood and sweat and tears into it. It's too important to too many people for you to not be as dedicated to it and not be completely involved. They _need_ you." 

Kurt paused and Blaine could tell he was trying to figure out how to phrase what he wanted to say next.

"I haven't truly been happy at my job for awhile, if we're being honest. I’ve actually been thinking about trying to find a new job.”

Blaine sat stunned as he listened to Kurt talk about his discontent at his job. All of this was news to Blaine. Why hadn’t he been able to figure out Kurt had been so unhappy? 

“But then this promotion came up and I thought 'hey, this could be perfect.’,” Kurt went on. “I thought if I worked hard enough I could get it, stay there for another year, earn some money, and then find a different job. It would show that I moved up in the company, that I was a valuable asset, and then I could work for the big labels." Kurt sighed and shut his eyes before he ran a hand through his hair. 

"I've been doing every _single_ extra project that has possibly been coming up to try to get me that extra edge. That's why I haven't been home, that’s why I’ve been so fucking absent. You were so busy at the theater, I just - I guess I thought that you wouldn't notice since we were both so busy. _That_ didn’t work out very well, did it?"

Blaine smirked and held his hand out palm up for Kurt to take. "It could've gone better. So what happened this morning? Or did it happen before?"

Kurt shook his head and reached out for Blaine's hand. Blaine shivered at the feel of Kurt’s hand once more in his. 

"No, it was this morning. As far as we knew Cristian had been on a business trip this week. I walked in this morning and it seemed like a normal day. I went to my desk and checked my messages, went through my email, just all my usual stuff. About an hour later, everyone in the building was called into the conference room. Sandra, Cristian's assistant, said that some things had been going on in the company without anyone's knowledge, including her own. Then she said tomorrow morning they would be filing for bankruptcy and that as of noon today everyone would be let go. We got our paycheck from the last week and that was it. Someone tried to ask her what was going on, but all she said was that she was sure we'd read about it in the trades in the next few days and that she couldn't discuss anything."

"Well,” Blaine scoffed. “That doesn't sound fishy at all. Wow. I’m – I’m so sorry."

"I know, I couldn't believe it. She said we had until noon to gather all our stuff and say goodbye before we had to leave. All I kept thinking was 'all this work I've done the past few months and now I'm unemployed.’ Out of all possible scenarios in my life right now, this was definitely _not_ one of them."

Blaine brought their joined hands up to his lips to kiss Kurt's knuckles and gently rubbed his thumb back and forth across it. "I'm so sorry, Kurt.” He repeated. “You should have told me what you were trying to do. Aside from communication, starting a family doesn't mean one of us works more than the other. We talked about that remember? We decided it was going to be equal. You insisted on it."

"I know, I know, but I thought if I could just prove myself everything would work out. Now the whole idea seems stupid to begin with and I should have just told you." They both remained silent for a minute, lost in their own thoughts about the future. "God, I don't even know what I'm going to do now. Word is going to get around one way or another about what happened and now I'll have that name on my résumé forever. No one is going to want anything to do with me."

Blaine's head snapped up at that comment when he heard the defeat in Kurt's voice. "No, hey, look at me. You don't know that. Fashion moves so quickly - I'll be surprised if anyone remembers his name in a month."

Kurt shut his eyes to try and prevent more tears from slipping out. "That's the thing though. Everyone loves the gossip mill. I guarantee it will be talked about for months. It's just the way it happens. I don't even know where to start to try and find another job."

Blaine exhaled and slowly moved across the bed to sit next to Kurt and gathered him in his arms. "It's okay alright? We'll figure it out. Once people see your portfolio and talent they won't care where you came from. We have to take one thing at a time okay? We can't fix everything immediately."

Kurt relaxed and nodded into Blaine's chest and he felt the other man's fingers gently fist the front of his shirt. He tightened his arms around him as they sat there for a few minutes, not speaking, just holding on to each other. Kurt suddenly tensed up and unwound himself from Blaine to sit up.

"Where are we?"

"Ummm," Blaine glanced around confused by the question. "We're in my hotel room."

"No, no, I meant where do we stand? You and I."

Blaine's lips formed an O and thought about the question. "I love you more than you know, Kurt. I can't imagine us not together for the rest of our lives. You are it for me." He saw Kurt exhale in relief and Blaine didn't think it was ever a question. "We can't have this happen again. I can't handle it again. I won't survive it."

Kurt nodded and ran his hands over his face to wipe away his tears. "I know. I have to work on my communication. I swear I won't keep anything from you in the future."

Blaine bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. "Things like this have to be a discussion. You can't make choices for me, especially when it comes to life-changing ones. We have to be a team." Kurt nodded nervously and Blaine could tell that he needed a solid answer.

"Come here." Kurt threw his arms around Blaine's shoulders and the force of it caused them to lose their balance and they fell backwards on the bed. They both laughed and Blaine pressed his forehead to Kurt's and his palm to Kurt's cheek. "We're going to be okay. We'll still have to work on everything to get back to where we were, but we'll get there."

Kurt nodded and hesitantly moved forward to close the space between them and he lightly pressed his lips to Blaine’s, unsure if it was okay. Blaine pushed forward and let himself remember Kurt’s kisses, let himself drown in the relief and happiness that had suddenly taken over. He sighed and tilted his head, finding the familiar angle and deepening the kiss, He reveled in the touch and taste of kissing Kurt that he had missed so much during the past few weeks. He ran a hand slowly through Kurt’s hair and re-acquainted himself with the feeling of Kurt’s lips on his before Kurt gently pulled away. “So does this mean you’ll move back home?”

Blaine nodded and his lips curled up in a little smile. "Yes, but not today. Today you and I are lying here in this room and we're getting everything out on the table between us. We'll order take out and we're going to talk everything out until our voices are gone." Blaine heard a quiet giggle escape Kurt's lips and he grinned at the sound. "Then we'll go _home_ tomorrow."

Kurt grinned and surged forward and pressed his lips to Blaine's. "Good. I like home. I miss home. It hasn't been home since you left."

Blaine covered Kurt's lips with his before he had another chance to get emotional. "I miss home too."


	9. Chapter 9

_“Considering all the chaos surrounding the past four years of his life, it’s no wonder that Hummel-Anderson is so successful; he rarely takes a moment to pause. ‘I only stop when my husband puts his foot down; when that happens, I know it’s bad.’ His busy life isn't about to get any less stressful either; Hummel-Anderson and his husband, theater director Blaine Hummel-Anderson, will welcome a new addition to their family in two months. ‘Our son will be born in December or January, although our daughter can’t understand why he isn’t here now. She’s very impatient. She takes after me in that regard.'_

_Hummel-Anderson will show his Fall 21/22 collection at Fashion Week in February to--no doubt--sold out crowds and a waiting list the length of Manhattan. We will certainly be there with wide eyes and high heels.”_

 

Blaine grinned and handed the article to Burt so he could glance at it for himself. “Such a great article. The cover is amazing too. My baby’s famous!”

“Call me that one more time outside of our bedroom and you will be sleeping on my pattern tables,” Kurt warned from his place at the kitchen sink. He finished drying the last dish from lunch and placed it in the cupboard.

Burt groaned and covered his face with his hands. “Oh, I didn’t need to hear that, Kid. Watch it.”

“Sorry, Dad.” Kurt apologized and rolled his eyes at Blaine who sported an adorable pout. “Don’t give me that look; we’ve had this conversation.”

“You know, I remember when Kurt used to blush whenever you mentioned _that_ , maybe we should go back to that,” Burt mumbled. Blaine turned to agree with his father-in-law but was interrupted by a flurry of pink.

“Papa! Papa! Look what Grandma helped me make!”

Blaine bent down as the flurry of pink crashed into his legs and waved something brightly colored on his face. "Yes I see, Addy, what is it?"

The brunette girl with curly hair stepped back and held up her project. "It's for my Halloween costume! Grandma helped me make Sally's wig out of yarn! Isn't it pretty?"

"It's lovely, sugar. Why don't you go show Uncle Finn?" Blaine chuckled as she immediately spun around and ran out of the room. 

"Adalia Hummel-Anderson, we do not run in this house!"

"Sorry, Daddy!"

Kurt sighed at their six-year-old daughter's behavior and Blaine chuckled at the pair. "Blaine, why are you laughing? You're the one that allowed this to happen."

"Whoa, hold on their just a second. Who's the one that introduced her to _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ , thus starting her obsession?"

Kurt turned to Blaine, hands resting on his hips. "Who's the one that said she could go as Sally?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow at Kurt’s response and smirked. "Which one of us is going as Jack Skellington because his daughter pleaded?" 

"Jesus, you two need a new kind of therapy. I think the New York City air here has finally gotten to you."

"Are you kidding? This is normal for them." Carole swooped through the kitchen and gently patted Burt on his cheek before reaching for a sugar cookie. "We're just never around to see these little debates."

Kurt rolled his eyes and Blaine nodded at Burt. "She's right, this is our new normal." 

"It's scary that's what it is," Burt grumbled as he walked across the kitchen toward the family room.

"Well, it is Halloween dad," Kurt reminded him and scowled as Burt ruffled his hair on the way out. "Hey! I'm not ten anymore!"

"Really? Could have fooled me." Blaine grinned at his husband and unsuccessfully tried to avoid the playful swat that came from his direction. "That wasn't very nice."

"Since when have I ever been nice?"

"You may have a point there." Blaine waited until Kurt had his back turned to hastily grab a tiny snickers bar from the bowl of candy on the counter. "Is everything ready for tonight?"

Kurt nodded and leaned over to rest his forearms on the counter. "Mmhmm. Although I don't know why you won't tell me what you're dressing up as. I've been trying to find your costume for weeks."

"That could be difficult considering it's not here." Blaine smirked as Kurt scowled at him in response. He had known that Kurt would tear every inch of their home apart searching for it so he had begged Rachel to hold onto it for him. "Rachel is bringing it later when she comes with Brody."

"That sneaky little diva. I asked her and she said she had no clue what it was."

"Oh, she doesn't know, unless she peeked. I guess we'll find out later."

Kurt bit his lip before he stood up straight and sidled over to Blaine's side. "Are you _sure_ you don't want to tell me what it is?"

Blaine immediately knew exactly what Kurt was trying to do and he laughed loudly. "No, I'm pretty sure this way is just fine."

Kurt snaked both of his arms around Blaine's shoulders and drew him close as he pressed their cheeks together. "Just think of the fun we could have later if I knew what I could be expecting."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you'll like it."

Kurt pulled back with a worried look on his face. "You're not going as Christian Grey are you?"

Blaine rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Of course not. I don't know whether I should be offended because you suggested that or offended because you know who that is."

"Wouldn't you like to know…"

Blaine smiled and tugged at Kurt's waist until he could brush his lips along the corner of his mouth. "I love you so much." Kurt smiled softly and played with the curls at the nape of Blaine's neck before he pressed his lips to Blaine's.

Kissing Kurt was one of Blaine's favorite things in the world now. After their relationship nearly collapsed four years ago, they both worked hard to make sure the other knew their feelings at all times, and Kurt put every single emotion into his kisses - whether they were long and drawn out or short and sweet. Blaine treasured moments like these; they were fewer nowadays with their growing family and successful careers. 

Blaine gently ran a hand under Kurt's sweater and grazed across his lower back. Kurt sighed into the kiss and let out a little moan as they broke away. "God, you still take my breath away."

"Good. I better make sure it stays that way."

Kurt smiled and ran a hand over Blaine's cheek and cupped it as he placed a final chaste kiss to Blaine's lips. "I love you more than you know."

Blaine smiled and nuzzled his cheek into Kurt's palm. He was so lucky to have this man in his life and couldn't wait for the years to come. 

"Daddy! We need a Zero! We need to go buy a dog right now! Everything will be ruined!"

Blaine groaned as Kurt's laugh rang throughout the kitchen. "I knew we forgot to mention something."

"You want to go talk to her?"

Blaine shook his head and pulled back before he gently pushed Kurt in the direction of the family room. "Nope, that's you. You have to go explain to her why Jack Skellington won't have his best friend at his side tonight. I'll sit here and laugh."

Kurt glared at him and sighed before he walked out to console their daughter. He grinned and sent a silent thank you to whoever was watching out over them. They finally had their growing family, they both had jobs they loved, and most importantly, they had each other forever. God, he loved his life.


End file.
